Purple Dresses and Poo
by Susie and Bob the Duck
Summary: Chaper 8: Flippin' French Fries! Okay, so the title has nothing to do with the story, but it's the final chapter in my story. And to make up because there aren't french fries, I have a Christmas tree and disco! Please R&R!
1. Purple Dresses and Poo

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Disney or Squaresoft, so bugger off! Also, I do not own any of the stated super heroes (not that I would want to).  
  
~ Enjoy the story!  
  
~~~~~  
  
"On guard you devilish fiend!" said Sora poking Riku in the side with a make-shift sword made of wood.  
"Stop that you retard! I'm trying to finish my homework."  
"What homework? We live on an island the size of a table cloth, we don't have a school," he said as he fiddled with his cape made out of his old blanket which he still secretly slept with for, uh, security reasons ('No mommy, don't take blankie away, the monsters will GET me!!!!!!!').  
"Fine, it's a plan to totally annihilate Kairi and bury her shriveled remains. Are you happy?"  
"Yes, very." he said as he pulled his underwear on top of his pants.  
"I, am, BATMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! he threw his arms up as he said this.  
"Shut up or I'll beat you to a pulp!!!!"  
"No one can defeat the invincible Superman!  
"I thought you were Batman."  
"Take that Joker!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!"  
"What?! I'm confused," said Riku with a puzzled expression.  
"Ah ha! Your hypnotizing eyes cannot sway me! Now DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Sora as he charged at Riku with the "sword", but he dodged it effortlessly. Instead, he tripped Sora. The brunette fell slow motion right into -  
  
"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO0OOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
*squish*  
  
- a pile of Chocobo crap.  
Riku was rolling on the sand laughing his lungs out as Sora lifted himself from the not-so-pleasant surprise.  
"It's not funny! You did that on purpose!" whined Sora as he tried to wash the brown muck off his face in the ocean.  
"C-can't, b-breathe. . ." Riku said still laughing hysterically.  
Sora marched off madly, trying to pick the dung out of his (now browner) hair when suddenly he heard a loud squaking sound. Right in front of him was a girl with the biggest head (and mouth) you've ever seen, sitting on a Chocobo.  
"Hi Sora! Gee, what happened to you?"  
"Well I'm guessing that your Chocobo left a little surprise for me on the beach, considering he's the only Chocobo on the Destiny Islands."  
"Oh really? Ralph left you a surprise? How thoughtful of him!" Kairi said as she hugged her cross eyed bird. "What a sweetheart!" she cooed.  
"What an idiot," Sora mumbled. He started to tip toe away, and fast or else he might fall victim to - "NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
- dress up.  
Sora was tied to a chair with a rope, steel chain, inch thick wire, numerous handcuffs, barbed wire, and ribbon (don't ask). Unfortunately Kairi had caught him trying to sneak away and decided that it would be fun to have Sora over to play. So she sicked her Chocobo on him, and dragged Sora kicking and screaming to her house. Sora had met his fate - he was wearing a poofy purple dress with bows, lace and other horrific trims. If things couldn't get worse-  
  
"Don't put that cup of death near my mouth! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
- there was always tea time.  
"Oh, come on you silly bum. A little tea won't hurt you." Unfortunately for Sora, he noticed a few rotted bodies at the bottom of Kairi's basement stairs as they walked (or should we say, Kairi dragged Sora) into her house.  
"Come on you scardy cat! At least eat some crumpets!" "Nooooo way, I rather jump off a cliff than eat anything that you - " she crammed the crumpet into his mouth.  
"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" hacked Sora, sending little pieces of bread flying all over. "What are you doing? Do you enjoy killing people?"  
"Killing? What are you talking about? Mr. Floppers ate a biscuit and he's fine," she motioned to a plush gray rabbit.  
"That's because he's not alive you ditz!!!!!" staring daggers at Kairi, Sora writhed in his seat trying to undo the many restraints.  
Suddenly Leon jumped through Kairi's window with a panicked look on his face. He was breathing hard like he had been running for awhile and his head was darting around looking for a way out of the room.  
"Yoo hoo! Squally-poo! Where are you???!!!!!! You're Yuffie-kins is going to find you!!!!!!"  
Now stricken with even more terror, Leon dashed toward the door and tried to open it frantically, but with no success because of the many locks.  
"Get me outta here!!!" he wailed while pulling on the door knob vehemently.  
Almost on cue, Yuffie jumped through the window and frolicked (which is a scarier version of skipping) toward Leon.  
"Nooooo!!!!!!! Go AWAY!!!!!!!" squealed Leon and picked up the chair Sora was sitting in; he was trying to fend Yuffie off with it.  
"Playing hard to get my sweet? Oh, you won't get away that easy," And with that she tackled Leon, or at least tried because she missed and got a dumbfounded Kairi instead.  
"Run!!!!!" Sora bellowed. Leon used the chair to break down the door and lugged Sora out the back of the house before either of the girls realized what was happening.  
"Wha - " Kairi managed to say before hitting the ground.  
Yuffie shook her head as she got up. "That was the third time today that's happened. I just don't understand why he keeps running away."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Out in the woods somewhere. . .  
  
"Whoa, that was close. Thanks for getting me out of there." Sora said as Leon cut him out of the constraints.  
"Thanks for serving as a battering ram."  
"Anytime Squall, that's what I'm here for."  
"It's Leon."  
"Right, Leon. Anyway, why are you running away from Yuffie? She can't be that bad."  
"But she is, she really is. Today she dragged me into a clothing store decorated with pink feathers, pink flowers, pink ribbon, pink glitter, pink carpeting, pink walls, even pink cash registers! PINK!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE THAT COLOR???!!!!!!!! Then she tried to get me to model a dress for her - that one sent me running. But of course she followed me and I couldn't lose her. That's how I got here." Leon shook his head disappointedly.  
"Well at least you weren't forced into that dress, you had the option of running, unlike some of us." Sora made a face as he looked down at the revolting dress he was wearing. "And she didn't make you play tea party with Mr. Floppers and company."  
"Okay, you've got a point there, but she won't stop calling me Squall. And of course to make things worse, she has to add a 'poo' at the end of it. I bet Kairi never said that in front of your friends!" challenged Leon.  
"Could we stop this? We need to get out of here before they find us!  
  
That is, unless you want to be serving tea to Fluffy and eating poisonous biscuits!"  
"Fine, let's go."  
The tall man dressed all in black walked next to the boy in a purple dress to his house unaware of the two creatures following. . .  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ketshup: Wow! That was really stupid and pointless!  
  
Susie: Hey! That hurts! *frowns and gives puppy dog eyes*  
  
Ketshup: That doesn't work on me you know, I still think it's weird.  
  
Susie: Yeah, I know. Anyone who read, please review!!!! Also, for all you Kairi fans and people who like the Leon X Yuffie pairing - I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST ANYONE, SO NO FLAMERS ABOUT THAT!!!!! Thank you. Have a nice day. ^_^ 


	2. Bob, Barbara and Bob

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story except for Bob and I. And the story line, no matter how bad it is. So, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!  
  
~I'd like to thank those who reviewed my story:  
Mongoose Dog Kami  
AnimeGirl171  
and BroncosCheer-LiterofPepsy (You should check out her story, The Darkened Streets of Traverse Town, it's really good!!!!) Thanks for your support guys!!! ^_^  
  
WARNING: This might be just a tad weird and confusing because Bob and I appear in the story. And for all of you that have a fear of clay puppet things and (in my opinion) really bad singers, you're in for a wild ride.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Finally, we're here. I can't wait to get out of this thing," Sora heaved a sigh and opened the door.  
"Just give me a minute okay? Make yourself at home, just lock the door," Leon looked around the living room. An overstuffed couch and chairs were spaced evenly around the room. It was very simple, there was really nothing else except paintings. Portraits of a very pretty brown haired girl with light, glowing skin hung on the walls and near the windows. Her rosy lips were in a shy smile and in a few she was flashing a toothy grin. Leon looked closer at one of the paintings that hung near a window. At the bottom right hand corner it looked like she was holding something with feathers. A bird possibly? Just then, Sora leapt down the stairs in his regular attire.  
"There, that's better. So what are we going to do about Kairi and Yuffie?" he sat down on a chair across from Leon who had stopped examining the paintings.  
"I don't know, but there's no way that we're gonna remain in one piece if we don't stick together. God. They just don't give up, do they?"  
  
~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile outside. . .  
  
Bob the Builder and Barbara Streisand listen in on Sora and Leon's conversation.  
"We have to find some sort of weakness in them, something to make them break."  
"Shut up! I can't hear what they're saying," Barbara pressed her ear to the glass just in time to hear Leon talking about how they should stay together.  
"So? Anything good?"  
"No, it just sounds like one of those stranded island soap operas. 'We have to stick together in order to survive!' My ass."  
"What? Does it hurt?"  
"No! It doesn't hurt I mean - never mind," Well this is what I get for working with a construction worker - or whatever he is - made out of clay. Barbara thought to herself. She rolled her eyes and got up from the ground picking leaves out of her hair.  
"Come on, let's go. I don't think we're going to find anything good today."  
  
Barbara was working for all the big cats in the music industry. She was hired to capture Leon and bring him back to them so they could take him for ransom. Why? Because they were looking for Utada Hikara, and Disney and Squaresoft had her hidden in a safe house to keep her, well, safe. If they handed her over, they would give back Leon in exchange. Bob the Builder on the other hand was out for Sora. He was working for Nickelodeon and they were furious that the Disney Channel was getting better ratings. So he was sent to capture Disney's most beloved character (yes, even more than Bambi) and murder him (and by the way, Bob is very capable of that).  
Bob and Barbara had joined forces (wow, that sounded really corny) and agreed to work together to capture the two bishonen. In order to do so, they also formed an alliance with Paper Warehouse to take over the world. Yes, Paper Warehouse because according to Ketshup it's an evil corporation out to destroy and push day cares out of business. Long story short, she doesn't like Paper Warehouse. Anyway, back to the story.  
  
~~~~~  
  
And back to our heroes. . .  
  
Sora ran his fingers through his hair nervously, and pulled his clothes straight. The afternoon sun was almost blinding, but still Sora kept his stare dead ahead. The blue sky was cloudless, so it would probably be like this for the rest of the day.  
"Why are you so excited?" mused Leon.  
"I told Susie that I would meet her at the beach at one. Ahhh. Susie," at this point Sora went into daydream mode but quickly snapped out of it.  
"Come on! I don't want to be late!" Sora took off running with Leon close behind. The golden sand was kicked up by their feet (especially Sora's abnormally large ones).  
  
Sora stopped, breathing heavily. He sat on the sand to rest a little and noticed a person standing by the shore line.  
"Susie!" he yelled. He quickly got up and brushed the sand off his clothes and walked toward her.  
Susie, a beautiful, slender girl, turned around. Her long chestnut hair blew in the wind and she smiled sweetly at the boy coming to greet her. Her cocoa eyes met his and she bent down a little to give him a kiss on the cheek. Sora blushed furiously, but soon shrugged it off.  
"Hi there Bob!" Sora exclaimed excitedly stroking a duck that Susie held in her arms. Yes, a duck. Bob was a gift to Susie for her birthday and he looked exactly like a rubber ducky. But if you squeezed this duck, he wouldn't squeak, he would bite your fingers off. How do I know? I've seen it happen. Otherwise, he is very sweet.  
"I'm glad you could make it," Susie said softly, her soothing voice floating away with the breeze.  
  
//Don't flatter yourself there dear.//  
  
"What? Who said that?"  
  
//It's me, Ketshup. Don't flatter yourself because your voice is NOT soothing. It's annoying.//  
  
"For your information it's VERY soothing. My music teacher said so," Susie beamed and smiled.  
  
//Yeah. Right. And I'm the Queen of England.//  
  
"My voice is better than yours. Besides, who died and made you the authoress/narrator/really obnoxious person?"  
  
//No one. Not yet anyway, but you're in the story. So I get to take over for awhile. ^_^//  
  
ANYway, back to the story. So Susie dearly loves Bob and would positively die if anything happened to him. Sora would do anything for Susie because he is deeply in love with her. Leon would be willing to tag along in case Sora ever goes on an adventure because he's scared to death that Yuffie might find him and force him into a dress. Getting any ideas? *cough* ANY? Any at all? YO! YOU TWO! HIDING BEHIND THOSE BUSHES! ARE YOU GETTING ANY IDEAS??!!!!  
  
"Who? Us?" Barbara slapped Bob upside his very thick clay head. They had followed Sora and Leon to the beach.  
"Yes she means us! And yes! We, or I actually, have some ideas. Why don't we steal Bob? Then Susie will be heart broken and Sora wouldn't be able to stand seeing her that way. So, he'll go on a quest for Bob and then we'll capture them!!! Perfect, but how to get that duck. . ."  
  
Sora and Susie (aw, how cute, they have the alliteration going on and everything!) walked hand in hand toward a cave that they discovered a few days ago by the sea shore. With Leon following. Okay, this isn't romantic, this is creepy. But still, they walked all happy and in love ignoring Leon's protests that they should go out for ice cream instead.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Susie: Sorry that this chapter was really boring. I have writer's block but I promise it'll get better.  
  
Ketshup: God I hope so, you really can't write worth a crap.  
  
Susie: Shut up. I'm sure some of my loyal readers don't think it's THAT bad. Right? Anyone?  
  
Ketshup: You are so sad.  
  
Susie: I think we established that. Anyway, for those of you who have something NICE to say, please review. 


	3. Please don't hurt me!: An author's note

~ Hello my loyal readers! *two people clap* I have come to apologize because I haven't updated for eons. *The "loyal readers" are prepared to stab her with pitchforks* Whoa, whoa! Just a second! Before you cause me great pain, let me just say a few things. First of all, I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY!!!!!!! I've been occupied with school work and a new bishie *sigh* Not to mention the worst freakin' writer's block in the entire freakin' universe is preventing me from even writing a freakin' simple sentence. That, and my computer that shuts down every five seconds. Anywho, I have lots planned for the next chapters, whenever I can get myself to write them, and a new character!!! Well, I think that covers it, you may ensue to injure me now. *The fans attack her viciously* Ja ne!!!!!!!! (Yelled between cries of pain) 


	4. Not Again

Disclaimer: If I owned Kingdom Hearts, do you think that I would be writing a freakin' story about it?!  
  
A/N: I am sooooooooooooo sorry I haven't updated in such a long time. Like I said, I've had the worst writer's block and lots of homework so I haven't had a lot of time to write. Plus this chapter is really crappy and short but I swear that I'll update soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And, to make things worse, you're going to have to put up with my so called sense of humor (or lack there of). For those of you who want to know who the new character is, you're gonna have to wait until chapter four - sorry!  
  
~~~  
  
"I had a great time Sora."  
"Me too, I always have a good time when I'm with you," Sora kissed Susie's cheek softly and then started to nibble on her ear.  
"Oh, Sora, stop that. Sora -" she started to giggle uncontrollably. "Sora, you know I'm ticklish!"  
"That makes it so much more fun though. Besides, we haven't seen each other in such a long -"  
"Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeccccccccccccccccccccccchhhh!!!!!!! Hhhhh hhh! Eccccceeeccchhhhh!!!" Leon stuck his finger in his mouth, pretending to gag himself.  
"Leon!" said Sora crossly. "You didn't have to come! You just invited yourself! Couldn't you be a little more polite and let us be? We don't see each other too often."  
"Fine, fine," he replied nonchalantly, waving his had to let them continue.  
"Now where we?" Sora once again kissed Susie's ear and lingered down to her throat when -  
  
"Ecccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccchhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"LEON!!!" screamed the couple in unison.  
"What?!"  
"You! You won't stop! You're so annoying!" screeched Susie. She launched herself towards him, wrapping her hands around his throat. "Never, ever, again!!" She managed to shake him violently between words.  
"Stop it! You're acting like three year olds!" clamored Sora. But it was too late, Susie had over powered Leon and was now kicking the crap out of him as he laid on the ground. Bob joined in on the action too, he was pulling Leon's hair and chewing it like watermelon BubbleYum.  
After a considerable amount of time, and Bob had chewed off most of Leon's left eyebrow, Susie finally grew tired and sat down under a nearby palm tree. Which, oddly enough, would make peculiar noises periodically. And Leon, to say the least, wasn't exactly in good condition.  
"I can't feel my legs!" he moaned. He brought his hands to his face in and overly dramatic sweeping motion and then sat perfectly still.  
"Leon? Are you okay?' Sora moved until he was near the immobile figure who still had his hands to his face and wore a daunt expression. "Leon what's -?"  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Leon had screamed out in terror and was now running around flailing his arms about.  
"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?! MY FREAKIN' EYEBROW IS MISSING!!! WHO THE HELL DID THIS?!?!?!?!?! BOB!!!"  
"Bob didn't do anything! Did you Bob - Bob?"  
Bob was no longer next to Susie, instead there stood a roll of duct tape.  
"What the -?" All three stood appalled at what they saw.  
"Who could have done this?" gasped Susie in obvious dismay.  
"Probably some evil super villains! But don't worry, I will save him for you! I will crawl to the ends of the earth, go to the moon and back, die thousand bloody deaths -" "Get to the damn point!"  
"Oh, yeah. I'm gonna go look for Bob 'cause I like you a lot, and I would do anything for you."  
"Kay!" Susie flung her arms around Sora's neck and planted multiple kisses on his cheeks.  
"Hey, alright! I get it! You're happy!" he laughed as he peeled Susie off his lips. "I'm going to leave at sundown, so I'll need to gather some things before I go."  
"I'll help!" Susie chimed. She looped her arm through Sora's and dragged him towards her house while going through a list of things necessary for the journey. And of course, Leon ran after them while trying to hide his eyebrow with his right hand.  
What they didn't know was that Bob the Builder and Barbara had stolen Bob while Susie tried to murder Leon. Who knew where they were, or what they were doing to him. . .  
  
"Ow!" *two "mystery" figures fall out of a nearby palm tree*  
"Oh no! Bob's getting away!"  
"Uh, no Bar, I'm right here."  
"Not you blockhead! The duck! Get him!!!!" *the two characters, who are obviously not coordinated, run after the duck, and chase him into the sunset - while tripping and face planting in many sand dunes along the way*  
  
~~~  
  
Yeah, it's crappy. You don't have to review unless you want to. . . *big watery anime eyes* Please? Flamers now excepted! Anywho, I have big plans for chapter four! Keep reading!!! ^_^ 


	5. 2 plus 2 is?

Disclaimer: Am I sane? Do I own flying pigs? Am I normal? Do I own Kingdom Hearts or any other affiliated characters or settings, a really overly dramatic singer, or stupid clay construction workers? Do I drive a Rolls-Royce? Will I ever write a decent story in my lifetime? The answer to all of the above is: No you idiots. (A/N: Sorry, talking to the lawyers)  
  
A/N: Hi again! It's that psycho author that everyone's talking about that can't write a respectable chapter - well those days are past! I bring you a good (in my opinion at least) chappy filled to the brim with Kairi and Yuffie bashing!!!!! *a crowd of people applaud* And, finally, the new character that you've all been dying to meet is going to be introduced! Oh, and one more little snippet of info, Ketshup narrates part of this chapter - it's not hard to find which part. Just look for the peculiarly frank commentary. ^___________^  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Okay, I'm all set! Now I will save Bob for you!" Sora struck a heroic pose and flexed his muscles, even though there was nothing to flex.  
"My hero!" Susie pecked Sora on the cheek. "Now, did you pack a clean pair of underwear? How about your toothbrush and toothpaste?"  
"Yep!" Sora reached into his pocket and retrieved a pair of holey boxers and a toothbrush with a head shaped like Barney.  
"What a good boy I have!" Susie gave the beaming hero a hug. "You be careful! I'll have a big surprise waiting for you!!!"  
Sora waved to his beloved Susie in the distance and set one foot in the jungle when -  
"SORAAAAAA!!!"  
"What?!" he looked down at his leg in surprise and noticed Leon was hugging it and kissing his shoe.  
"Sora! Please! You have to take me with you or else SHE (A/N: meaning Yuffie) might get me!!!" Leon pleaded.  
"No Leon! I have to save Bob myself! It's for Susie!"  
"But you wouldn't leave me with her, would you?" he gave Sora puppy dog eyes and pointed dramatically at a distant figure who had her arms crossed, tapped her foot and wore an irritable expression.  
"Ummmm, well. . . fine. You can come," Sora said reluctantly. He figured if he left Leon there and he kept acting the way he was, Susie would turn him into dog food.  
"Yay!!!" He jumped up and danced around Sora, who was terrified of the prancing psycho.  
"Ummm, Leon," Sora sweat dropped. "if you're going to come with me, then you have to stop dancing."  
Leon immediately stopped acting like the overly hyper active idiot that he was. Both characters stepped into the dark, secluded forest afraid of what they might find. . .  
  
Meanwhile. . .  
~~~~~  
  
Barbara and Bob the Builder had managed to catch Bob just before he ran to sea - neither of the two villains could swim. At the moment they had him tied to a table, mostly because they couldn't tie him to a chair. And he wasn't really tied, he was glued. . .  
"I tell you to tie him up and you GLUE him to the table?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Barbara was in a fit of rage and BTB winced as she continued to shout about how incompetent he was.  
"It was a mistake," he murmured "See, I accidentally spilled glue on the table and I put him down before I realized -"  
"How are we suppose to get him off?!?! Or do you suggest that -" Barbara paused and blinked. Her once enraged expression changed to one of comfort. "That's perfect. They'll have no way to get Bob off, and they can't leave without him, so they would have take the entire table."  
"How are they suppose to escape with an entire table?"  
"That's just it, they can't. . ."  
  
In the jungle somewhere. . .  
~~~~~  
  
Sora and Squall -  
"It's Leon!"  
- right, Leon, had been walking through the humid tangles of vines and branches only to find a small clearing. The ground was green and grassy, a couple of flowers decorated the floor and there were bloodcurdlingly pink bows -?  
"Sora, I'm scared," Leon ducked behind the brunette who was shaking his head disappointedly.  
"What are you scared of? There are just hot pink bows and glitter spread around conspicuously in the middle of the jungle. What could possibly go wrong?" Just as Sora walked into the middle of the clearing there was a slight ruffling noise and -  
"LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" A blurry purplish - white figure leaped out from nearby bushes and tackled Sora to the ground. He would have screamed except the wind was knocked out of him, and ate some glitter instead.  
When he regained his breath, he spit out the glitter to its rightful place and looked up at the gangly figure that sat on his back.  
"Hiiiiiiii Sora!" The girl with auburn hair grinned mischievously at her confused stepping stool.  
"Oh, hello," Sora tried to reply as calmly as possible, because he thought that he would start to scream at the misery that he might face. And just before he was about to lose all sanity, he looked back at Leon. But Leon wasn't there.  
Sora turned his head as far as he could only to see Leon cowering behind a tree and a making strange noises. But that wasn't too smart because Kairi noticed.  
"Oo! What's that? A birdie?!" she jumped up and skipped towards the tweeting tree which suspiciously started hissing and growling to scare her away. Yeah, nice try.  
"It's not birdie! It's Leon!" Sora could see Kairi throw her arms around Leon's waist as he was silently panicking. It was evident that he was scared (A/N: and then again, who wouldn't be?) that Yuffie was nearby too. (A/N: ditzes tend to travel in packs)  
"Ummm, you wouldn't happen to have any friends with you?" he stuttered.  
"Of course I do!" Leon: O.O "You and Sora-kins!" Leon: -.- Leon: O_O (A/N: After he realizes that he was one of the people Kairi listed)  
"Uh, Sora, a little help here?"  
Very hesitantly the lounging brunette stood up and walked to the screaming warrior. It was much more fun to watch Leon suffer than actually help him. But still, Sora snuck up to the raving lunatic and said in a sing-song voice:  
"Oh Kairiiiiii, I have caaaaaaandy -"  
Almost instantly Kairi had let go of Leon (allowing him to breathe again) and was now bouncing in circles around Sora.  
"WheresthecandyWheresthecandyWheresthecandy?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"  
"Settle down, and I'll give you a piece." He pulled an old peppermint out of his pocket and handed it to the hyper bouncy ball.  
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!" she tossed the savory piece of hyperness into her mouth wrapper and all. Within a spit second she had swallowed it and continued to beg for more. "More candy! More candy!" Again, Sora unwillingly gave Kairi another peppermint which she finished immediately (and with the wrapper on still).  
Of course, Kairi once again asked for candy, but Sora was out. In the words of our favorite dyslexic "goat" character, I've got two words for you kid: Run.  
"What?" she said quite discouraged and frowning. "Then let's play dress up!" she perked up immediately and once again wrapped her arms around Leon's middle.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Leon screamed and tried to find a way to get the leach off.  
Oh holy crap! Sora thought to himself There's no way that I'm doing that again, so I better save Leon and then run for my life. But how do I get rid of her? A bright yellow light bulb flashed on above Sora's head. That's it!  
"Kairi? Kairi?" she was busy braiding a weeping Leon's hair. "KAIRI!"  
"Yes, Sora-kins?" she looked at Sora with a sweet, innocent smile as she continued to decorate Leon's hair with ribbons.  
"Owww! That hurts!" Leon whined.  
"What's two plus two?"  
Kairi blinked and let Leon's hair fall out of her hands. She wore an expression of utter confusion and continued to stare at Sora. She then abruptly raised her hands to her face and started counting.  
"One, two, fifteen, thirty-five, negative three. . ."  
"Now's our chance Leon! Come on!" Sora pulled the frightened figure to his feet and pulled him as he ran.  
Sora and Leon continued running until they reached a small stream surrounded by huge trees and vines.  
"Hey, you know what this reminds me of?" Leon had regained his sanity after tripping over tree roots on the way there. "Tarzan! Let's go swinging on the vines!" It was weird that Leon was acting so childish, but even weirder that he had any hair left. Kairi had taken quite a toll on Leon's scalp, she was practically trying to rip the hair out of his head while she was braiding it.  
Leon skipped up to the tallest tree and attempted to climb it with no avail. Having lost hope, he walked to the edge of the stream and stared into the water.  
Sora couldn't believe how Leon was acting. Something had to be wrong. "Leon?" gingerly Sora approached him. "What's wrong?"  
"Well, it's about Yuffie. . ."  
  
Meanwhile. . .  
~~~~~  
  
//Oh my dearest Leon, I love you with all my heart. I cannot live another day// Ow //without you. You are my sun, and without you I am likely to// Ow //perish. // Ow //To live without you is barely to live at all. For// Ow //who can live without// Ow //love?// Ow // I-  
*narrator takes away Yuffie's pencil and smashes the point against the wall* // There. Don't sharpen it. Unless you want to poke yourself to death that is, in which case, I'm not gonna stop you ^^//  
*Yuffie gives a confused/terrified/confused/curious/confused/hateful/CONFUSED look at the thin air that just handed her pencil back.  
// I'm the narrator dear, stop starring. You're not gonna find anything. And if you keep thinking that hard, you're going to pass out. So stop. Besides, it looks like it hurts.//  
*Yuffie glares at nothing in particular*  
"ANYwho -" Yuffie continued to write her letter to Leon with vigor, with passion, with - a broken pencil.  
  
Meanwhile  
Back at the clearing. . .  
~~~~~  
  
. . . Kairi was still trying to calculate two plus two.  
  
At the stream. . .  
~~~~~  
  
It was slowly becoming dusk and Sora and Leon had walked down the stream a little ways. Sora was listening to Leon's story about the real Yuffie, the one he fell in love with. And for once, Sora felt sorry for him.  
"I remember the first time we met," he continued "She was small and helpless - but annoying. I hated her, but after a while, she starts to grow on you." Leon paused to smile and kicked a pebble into the stream. "I fell in love, and everything was wonderful. But one day, she just started acting weird. I couldn't figure out why, still can't, but she runs around like a squirrel on crack - you've witnessed it.  
"How am I suppose to love her when she's not Yuffie anymore?"  
"You'll find someone else, just like Yuffie - or completely different. You'll see, you'll find her." Sora looked up at the sky and noticed the diminishing daylight.  
"Maybe we should set up camp. It's almost night."  
Leon looked up to the sky too and his eyes grew wide.  
"S-sora?"  
"Yeah, what's up Leon?" Squall's eyes were darting around in a panicked manner, much like when Kairi was hugging him.  
"Um, well, I don't really like the dark."  
"Oh get a grip, there's nothing to be scared of. Kairi's busy counting to four, Yuffie's - well, I don't know where Yuffie is, but she's not here. So you shouldn't worry."  
"Oh, yeah, thanks Sora." Leon faked a look of relief because tough warriors like him weren't suppose to act wimpy because of little things like the dark. But Yuffie was definitely not a little thing.  
  
~~~~~  
  
It was now night and the boys had set up a small tent and built a fire. Leon gazed into it's raging flames as he hugged his knees. Sora watched and wondered how Leon's personality could be so sporadic. One minute he was trying to climb trees to imitate Tarzan, and the next he was expressing his deepest feelings.  
He glanced again at the sluggish figure when he heard a funny noise. It sounded like a low growl, dark and menacing. Sora stood rigid and shaking. He knew that there were dangerous creatures in the jungle, but he never thought that they would actually be targeted.  
"Leon!" Sora whispered hurriedly. "Stay very still. I heard a creepy growling noise, I think it might be -" There was yet another low growl. "- there it is again! Shhhh!"  
Leon looked at Sora who was making a very quiet spectacle of himself. He was very slowly raising his arms above his head as his face contorted to one similar of a rabid dog. Then, just as gradually, he pointed wildly at the bushes. Well, that is if you can point wildly while going the speed of a tortoise.  
This knocked Leon out of his bad mood and smiled. "Sora there isn't -"  
"Shhhhhhh!!! Do you want to be food for the fishes?! Or whatever that is. . ."  
"But that wasn't -"  
"I said 'shhhhhhh!!!'"  
"It was my -"  
"God Leon! When are you going to understand that we need to be quiet?!" Sora shouted and glared at Leon. When what he had done sunk in, he clapped his hands over his mouth.  
"ItwasjustmystomachSorasostopactingsoweird," Leon rushed before the brunette even got a chance to glower at him. Instead, his expression dropped into one of embarrassment.  
"Oh, it was just your stomach? Maybe I should cook something then." Sora searched through an old backpack he brought and retrieved some eggs out of a mini cooler.  
"Omelets anybody?"  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Hmmm, you're a pretty good cook. Ya know, I don't even think I've ever had a leaf and twig omelet before."  
"Those were basil leaves and snap peas!!!"  
"I know, I know, just kidding. I just wanted to poke a little fun." Sora shook his head and turned around to rinse off the dishes in the stream. Just as he began, there was a vigorous rustling sound.  
"Nice try Leon, but you're not scaring me. I know it's you." Sora coolly went back to work when the Gunblade wielder bumped into him and was holding his sword defensively.  
"That's not me Sora," he dropped the plate he was rinsing and turned around hastily.  
"No, it can't be. . ."  
  
Meanwhile. . .  
~~~~~  
  
. . . eight billion and one, sixty six, seven hundred fourteen, four!" *drops down from exhaustion because of the complexity of the problem*  
  
And the bush rustles again. . .  
~~~~~  
  
On instinct Sora drew his Keyblade and prepared to attack anything that walked out of the jungle. The heartless had been long gone, but there was always a chance they might come back. He tried to slow his breathing and control his shaking limbs - this was his first real encounter since Kingdom Hearts was sealed.  
Leon was also in his ready position. He tried his best to stand in front of Sora, without being in the way, he was much stronger than the Keyblade master. If it was anything too dangerous he could take it out with one blow. He didn't want anything to happen to Sora, not after how he had helped him.  
Unexpectedly the bushes parted and both warriors grew tense. Sora gripped the Keyblade until his knuckles turned white, and Leon slowly lowered his finger to the trigger of his Gunblade.  
"Please! Don't shoot!" came an alarmed voice from the brush.  
Leon turned around to face Sora and shook his head to indicate not to let his guard down. When Sora nodded in comprehension, Leon whipped around again to look at the dark, shadowy space in the bushes.  
"Come out slowly," A foot, followed by a leg and a torso submerged from hiding. "Now come into the light." The stranger warily walked into the glow of the fire.  
Sora and Leon stared in surprise.  
"It's just -"  
"- a girl."  
The girl smiled shyly and looked to them with hopeful eyes. "I'm Sam."  
  
~~~~~  
  
So? How do you like it? It's the best so far, don't you agree? A new character, what could she be doing in the jungle? You might have noticed that I have a thing for rustling bushes. But hey, they're in the jungle, what do you expect, people jumping out from behind cars?!?!?! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. If you want to thank me for writing a normal (kinda) chapter, then review. I you want to tell me that my story sucks, then review. If you thought it was just okay, then review. Well, if you still don't get it, I want you to review. Okies? Please? Pretty please with sprinkles? *watery anime eyes again* Okay, I'll try to update as soon as possible! Thanks to all my fans!!!! ^_^ 


	6. Quisoni Juice

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or its characters. I also don't own the Legally Blonde theme song. What I do own are quisoni plants, and stucki trees. If you have a problem with that, contact my imaginary lawyer.  
  
A/N: Okay, chapter five!!! Wow, this is my longest chapter yet! I hope you like it, I worked really hard on it. Unfortunately it doesn't have much humor in it, but it has a fairly good flashback. . . and someone suffers from a possibly deadly disease. Who could it be?! Read and find out! And sorry, but there may be a few accuracy problems but I tried to stay as true to the game as I could. I hope you enjoy it, ja ne!!! ^_^  
  
~~~~~  
  
Leon wasn't sure what to do, here was this rather harmless looking stranger who just came out of no where - well, the bushes.  
"I'm sorry, if I frightened you," Sam said to Leon mostly, because Sora had put down his Keyblade and gaped curiously at her. "You see, I'm not from around here and I sorta got lost."  
"Are you hungry?" Almost on cue Sam's stomach lurched and Sora jumped up to get more eggs and snap peas.  
Leon rolled his eyes. "Where's he going?"  
"To get some basil for the fire, and twigs for your omelet." Sam just stared blankly at Leon wondering what kind of people she had ran into.  
"Come on, you must be cold." They sat down by the fire just as Sora arrived with all the necessities. He fixed the pan over the flame and cracked two eggs in it. Stirring quickly with one hand and adding basil with the other, he looked up at Sam again and gave his signature smile.  
"This is Sora," Leon motioned to the bustling chef as he continued to add snap peas. "and I'm Leon. So, what's your story?"  
"Well, you're probably never heard of it before, or know where it is, but I'm from Scotland. There's this guy who lives in my town, Michael, and he's what you would call a little really obsessive.  
"One day he needed to borrow a dime, so I gave him one and he just went psycho on me. He started to send me pictures of himself, he called me when I never gave him my number, he would even stalk me in the grocery store!  
"Of course, I was scared out of my wits. And just when things couldn't get worse, he assumed he was taking me to a local dance that we have every year. He showed up one day, and out of no where, he pops up and tries to pull the ugliest, fluffiest, pinkest dress you've ever seen over my head." At this Leon shuddered at such a familiar thought and glanced at Sam.  
She had deep, brown eyes that complimented her glowing complexion. Her chestnut, shoulder length hair was swaying gently from side to side as she reenacted an obviously horrible event. Leon's eyes fell on her black attire which was a ninja suit, and she had a red sash tied around her waist. She was a ninja. . .  
"LEON! Leon?" Sam waved her hand in front of his eyes, she could tell he wasn't listening.  
"Oh, right, sorry. Could you repeat that?" Leon blushed slightly but it was hidden by the red glow of the fire.  
  
Meanwhile. . .  
~~~~~  
  
Earlier that day Yuffie had decided to set out on a quest for her "true" love. Poor Leon. She had dressed in a black jumper and covered her face with a black scarf. What did you expect? When the great ninja isn't that great, she probably doesn't have a real ninja outfit.  
At the moment she had reached a clearing and noticed a purplish figure collapsed on the floor. It was Kairi, but Yuffie decided not to bother her because she was sleeping. She tip-toed by and slipped into the brush once again.  
  
In Scotland. . .  
~~~~~  
  
"Well ANYway, I was running for dear life when I had reached the middle of and open field. I had finally lost him when all of a sudden I see this yellow thing in the sky. It was pretty small at first, but then it got bigger, and bigger, and bigger. . . At that point I realized that it was falling towards me, so I ducked into the grass just before it crash landed.  
"There was a bunch of dust, so I really couldn't see very well. But next thing I know, a door opens to this ship thing, and a guy with silver hair who was wearing waders jumps out. He was holding some papers, which I guess was a list because he looked down, read off a few things and yelled 'LOCHNESS!!!!!!!!!' Then he ran away like he was in a big hurry.  
"A while after he left, I heard this weird nasal voice calling my name. I knew that Michael had caught up with me, and I had to get out of there. Without thinking, I just jumped into the ship, pushed some buttons, and it started to fly. I assumed that it was an airplane of some sort because it was shaped like one, but then it took me out of the atmosphere.  
"I had been flying for about fifteen minutes when I reached a really rocky part of the galaxy. I assume I was suppose to steer, but I didn't know how and I ended up running into some meteors. The ship lost power just above this planet, and I collided into some trees.  
"That was yesterday. I couldn't find anyone until I saw the smoke from your fire."  
"Yeah, sorry about jumping at you like that, we thought you were heartless, or worse, Yuffie."  
"Who are they?" Sora handed Sam her omelet.  
"Well, the heartless are these dangerous creatures who feed off people's fear. If you give in, you too become a heartless. Sora got rid of them, but at almost any time, they could come back."  
"How could Yuffie be worse than that? The heartless sound pretty bad if you ask me."  
"Yeah, but Yuffie is the female equivalent of Michael. She tried to make me model a dress for her. And of course, it was pink." Sam cringed to think that there was a woman clone of Michael running around, but at least it wasn't after her.  
Sam gave a quiet cough which was brought to Leon's attention.  
"Do you need some water?"  
"That'd be great, thanks." Leon reached into Sora's backpack and retrieved a cup which he dipped in the stream and handed to Sam.  
"Wait! Don't drink that!" Sora dashed and grabbed the cup out of Sam's grasp.  
"What's wrong with it?" Sam said wide eyed.  
"Well, it doesn't taste that good, and it'll make you sick. Trust me, I tried some and I just about threw up."  
"Oh yeah right. Sora, be nice to her. Look, I'll even take a sip to prove nothing's wrong with it," he downed the water in one swallow, it didn't seem to effect him. "See, I told you nothing was -"  
Leon's face contorted and he squirmed a bit. "Uh, I'll be right back." He hurried behind a tree adjacent to the tent, all that could be heard were vomiting noises.  
"See? I told you!" yelled Sora at Leon who was still making squelching noises. A few minutes later, he had dragged himself back to the fireside holding his stomach, and sat down.  
"Okay, so maybe the water isn't good to drink, but what else are we suppose to?"  
"Well," piped Sora. "I heard from my dad that the root juice of quisoni plants doesn't taste half bad. We could try it, besides, there are lots of quisoni plants in this jungle, I saw them on the way here."  
"Okay, sounds good to me." Sam smiled at the idea while Leon frowned.  
"Oh fine," he muttered as he got to his feet again.  
  
I wouldn't touch that if I were you. . .  
~~~~~  
  
Despite her agility, Yuffie was not able to dodge some stucki trees and was now caught and tangled in it's small thorns.  
"Oh shiznit. I'm stuck. How does the Great Ninja Yuffie get stuck?"  
// I have an idea ^_____________^//  
"Oh no, not you again!!!" *Yuffie pouts and tries to cross her arms, but fails because they're stuck in the barbs*  
// Of course, who would possibly devote their life to tormenting you except me?//  
*glares at tree*  
// I'm not over there Great Novice Yuffie//  
"It's the Great Ninja Yuffie!"  
// Yeah, you know why you're stuck to that tree there?//  
*confused look*  
// Because I say so ^_____________^ Have fun. . .//  
"Wait! Don't leave! Someone help me!!!"  
  
Further down stream. . .  
~~~~~  
  
Leon, Sora and Sam had been looking for quisoni plants for the last half hour.  
"What do they look like again?" Sam had never seen them before, she did come from Scotland.  
"The fruits are small, oval, and really furry. They're brown or dark green depending on how ripe they are. Trust me, once you see them, you'll know what I'm talking about."  
All three searched through dead foliage and behind trees. It was dark, but the moon gave just enough light to make out rough shapes.  
Sora continued to sort through the brush as Leon and Sam checked under and around large bushes. Sam lifted a leaf the size of her torso above her head to peer into the small chamber underneath. Leon peeked his head in too to examine it.  
"That's funny -" Sam knelt on the ground while Leon held the leaf and squinted to see what she was talking about. She lightly touched the ground with her fingertips but stopped to reach into the darkness. When she withdrew her had, it was clasped over something small - and furry.  
"Wow, how did you know that was there?" Leon was surprised, even he couldn't see it.  
"I've developed really good vision, especially in the dark. I saw something unfamiliar, sort of short and thick, so I felt the ground. My sensory system is quite advanced, so I could feel the roots under the dirt. I figured it was a plant, so I just went for it - so this is what quisoni fruit looks like?" Sam turned the petite fruit in her hand and ran her thumb over the curly silk covering it.  
"How did you get your senses to be so precise?"  
Sam looked up from the fruit. "I'm a ninja, can't you tell? I started practicing Kendo a couple years ago, but then I actually decided to do something with it.  
"So I'd go out at night and look for anyone who started trouble. After a while, I was able to navigate in the dark, and with that I sort of became nimble and my other senses matured. I still have to work out a few kinks though."  
Leon was astonished that she was so humble about it, he probably would have bragged about it, but Sam was so unpretentious.  
"Come on, let's go find Sora so that he can help us dig this up," she started to walk away but paused. "Hey Leon!"  
"Yeah?"  
"Catch!" she tossed the quisoni just in his range and he caught it as she smiled and turned away.  
  
Someone has a death wish. . .  
~~~~~  
  
Yuffie had managed to free herself from the stucki tree. Her ninja jumper was full of small holes, and her mask was no longer useable because she had accidentally torn it on a tree branch.  
She was stepping over some fallen tree trunks now, and as she parted the bushes, she released the branches slowly. Her hands throbbed horribly from stabbing herself with a sharpened pencil.  
"From now on, it's pens for me," she murmured as she rubbed her hands.  
Bugs swarmed around her and blinked as she noticed the sudden increase of insects. Some were small and familiar looking while others were large and new.  
"I wonder what happens if I irritate them. . ."  
*reaches to touch a bug*  
// I wouldn't do that if I were you//  
"Why not?"  
// Because you'll get West Nile//  
"No I won't!" *disturbs bugs and gets stung - doesn't get West Nile*  
"See?" *gets malaria*  
// See? MUAHAHAHAHA!!!//  
"Shut up."  
  
Meanwhile. . .  
~~~~~  
  
The three had managed to pull the quisoni plant's roots out and dragged it to camp.  
Sora was now cutting the thick, fibrous roots into small cubes and putting them into a large pan. Sam and Leon watched as Sora once again scurried back and forth from chopping the root and sautéing it.  
"Sora sure can cook. I wonder where he learned it from?"  
"Well, when you're traveling through different worlds with a retarded dog and a duck who doesn't speak an understandable word of english, you learn to make your own food."  
Sam giggled and stared into the complex cocoa eyes of the man sitting across from her. There was something about him, something good. . .  
"Hey! You guys! I need some help juicing the quisoni root!"  
Reluctantly Leon and Sam placed cubes in a bowl and smashed them with the bottom of cups to get the juice. First Sam would place the quisoni in the bowl, and Leon would press down on it with all his weight. Then Sam would drain the juice into a pitcher, it was agonizingly boring. Sam was rarely not talking or doing something (fun!), so she decided she might as well make the best of it.  
"So," she said suddenly. "Tell me about yourself."  
"Well, there's not much to say I guess. I use to battle a lot with my friends Aeris, Cloud, and Yuffie. But then one day I met Sora and I've been helping him ever since."  
"Well, what about your childhood?"  
"Oh, ummm, I can't remember much until I was about five. My family and I use to live in a small city called Le Disparne. I didn't have any siblings so I was alone most of the time and just played with the wooden toys my dad made me.  
"When I was about twelve we moved to Hallow Bastion. It's this gigantic mansion that takes up the entire world. It has a huge cliff with water slowly cascading into small chambers, and secret passageways that I still can't figure out how to get into.  
"I remember that I use to run around and pretend I was some mighty warrior, searching for hidden treasure. I would drop a small water proof box off Rising Falls and it would run into the waterways. Then I would try exploring the watery corridors looking for it." Leon faltered to smile in a relaxed way, he had missed his harmless adventures.  
"Then, when I was fifteen, a small girl and her family moved in and a couple other families did too, but I was in charge of watching the little girl. And guess who it was."  
"Yuffie?"  
"Of course, so we've known each other ever since she was six. She was annoying but she never tried to get me to play dolls or anything. Instead, she would follow me around and try to act tough.  
"But then one day I woke up because I heard weird noises outside. Usually it was bright and sunny, but when I looked out the window, it was cloudy and completely silent. Nothing moved, not even the clouds that filled the sky. I spun around when I heard my door open quickly. . .  
  
~ flashback ~  
  
"Squall!" A woman with a small child in her arms enters the room urgently. "They're here, something's here! I don't know what they are, they keep multiplying, they've injured Aeris' mother! I have to go help Jon fight them off. I want you to take Yuffie and run to the Gummiship. Keep running, don't look back. Cloud and Aeris are already on their way to it."  
"No! I have to stay!" Out of the corner of his eye Leon notices black figures appearing in the courtyard outside his window. "I need to help! You guys can't do it on your own!"  
The woman looks directly into Squall's eyes and very sternly says: "You have to take her, you're her only chance."  
Squall gives a solemn look and opens his arms for the shaking child. The woman carefully places Yuffie in Squall's care and gives her a kiss on the forehead.  
"I love you," she whispers. Swiftly she fled the room with her katana drawn. Squall looks down at Yuffie. Her cheeks are stained by tears and her head is turned towards the door.  
"Mommy. . ." she whimpers.  
"Don't worry Yuffie, everything is gonna be fine. We're going to the Gummiship, okay? We'll be safe there and when our mommies and daddies are done fighting the monsters, we'll come back." Squall tries to make her understand that everything would be okay, but deep inside he knows it wouldn't be, Yuffie knows this too.  
He holds her tight against his chest as she wraps her arms around his neck and cries into his shoulder.  
"It's going to be fine," he says more to himself than Yuffie.  
Squall sprints down the endless hallway running away from the ominous sounds behind them. He hastily takes a set of stairs that led to the main gate and stumbles while trying to hold onto Yuffie.  
He reaches the bottom stair and rams the door with his shoulder, but the weight of it is too much. He tries again to no avail. The sound of slow footsteps echoes from the top of the stairs.  
Squall's head whips around to see a group of shadowy figures apparate behind those already formed. He panics and once again lunges for the door. It lurches open unexpectantly and he falls to the ground. Yuffie still clings to him and clenches her eyes shut as Squall stands and continues down the stairs to the Gummiship. Hesitantly, he boards the elevator trying to decide whether or not it would be safe.  
His question was soon answered. A black blob materializes on the platform and slowly forms the monsters that chased them back in the castle. Squall tries to pry Yuffie off him, but she's scared stiff.  
"Please Yuffie, I have to fight them. I promise I won't let anything happen to you." The girl looks up at him with watery eyes and nods. She lets go and lands behind the twelve year old who has drawn his Gunblade.  
Unsure of what to do, Squall swings at the shadowy creatures. After a couple of hits, the monster disappears in a flash of black smoke. He continues until each form had been destroyed.  
Yuffie runs into his arms and he picks her up again just as the elevator arrives at its destination. He runs even faster then before to the court at the castle entrance. His feet pound the ground, getting ever closer to safety. He is in the court yard, so close. Just a little further -  
The door to the Gummiship opens and Squall dashes in without thought. Cloud and Aeris are seated next to each other. Aeris is crying while Cloud tries to comfort her. When Squall enters with Yuffie, she looked up and her face brightens.  
"Yuffie! Squall! You're okay!" The ship had started to take off, and gives a bounce. "I thought you weren't going to make it!" Aeris takes Yuffie into her arms and Cloud sighs.  
"Who's flying the ship?" Leon voices.  
"Oh, Cid."  
Cid is the mechanic of the Gummiship. When the other families moved in, Cid came with Aeris'. He has short blonde hair and gray eyes that challenge anyone to mouth off to him. He always smokes or drinks or at least chews on a toothpick. He has a bad temper to match his bad habits, if you even thought about talking back, he would see to it that you never thought that way again. He is obviously not a person to be friends with, but he is the only person other than their parents who can fly the Gummiship without crashing it.  
"Hold on!" came his burly voice. "I didn't have time to fix the stabilizer, so it's gonna be a bumpy ride."  
Leon leans to peer into the cockpit and sees Cid gripping the controls and smoking an abnormally large cigarette.  
"Hey, Cid!"  
"Whatta need, kid?"  
"Where are we goin'?"  
"The only place that's safe. Traverse Town."  
  
~ end of flashback ~  
  
"We arrived in Traverse Town safely, and Cid kept us in the hotel. Eventually the heartless did invade, but not in the first district so Cid converted the upstairs room of his shop for us. We lived there until about two years ago.  
"We traveled the galaxy for several months and heard that there was a Keyblade master and he would be the one to destroy the heartless for good. So we searched for him and found nothing. We returned back home and surprisingly enough, found the Keyblade master," Leon pointed towards the brunette. "Sora."  
"That would explain why he was holding a giant key," Sam laughed and continued to pour juice into the pitcher.  
"Yeah, who knew that a key would save us - for now anyway."  
"I thought you said that Sora got rid of them forever."  
"Well, forever if no one finds out how to bring them back. They probably won't, but you never know."  
"Okay! That's the last of it!" Sora scooped up the last few pieces of quisoni fruit and handed them to Sam.  
"There," Leon said when he had squeezed out the final drops. Sora passed a cup to Sam and Leon who poured the purplish liquid for each person.  
"Bottoms up!"  
  
Meanwhile. . .  
~~~~~  
  
"Oh, I don't feel so good. . ."  
// I told you not to bother those bugs//  
"Yeah, but I have a sore throat and a fever."  
// Ahh, stage one symptoms of malaria. Next stage, shaking and chills//  
"I'm sooo cold. . ."  
// Stage three, headache and vomiting//  
"My head hurts so bad -" *vomits*  
//Stage four, dizziness, excessive sweating -//  
"Great, the trees are moving again! Boy is it hot in here, or is it just me?" *stumbles and breaks into a sweat*  
// - and the last symptom, fatigue. The victim falls into a deep sleep- //  
*snoring*  
// My works here is done ^________^//  
  
For the love of quisoni juice!. . .  
~~~~~  
  
"You know, it isn't that bad!" exclaimed Sora as he poured himself another glass.  
Sam slowly lifted the cup to her lips and sipped it cautiously. "Sora's right! This is good! You should try some Leon -" she turned to him and saw about ten styrofoam cups strewed on the floor.  
"Oh! I've already had some! *hic* And maaaaaaan was it *hic* tasty!" Leon stood up to pour another cup of quisoni juice, and fell.  
"Leon?" Sora bent over and saw Leon laughing like a mime gone mad - he wasn't making any noise. "Are you okay? Leon?" He didn't respond, instead he continued to laugh. "Leon? SQUALL?!?!?!?!" Still no reply.  
"Sora, I think he's drunk - from the QJ."  
"But how can that be - oh no. I forgot that my dad was talking about making martinis, 'It's not half bad in a martini'!!!" Sora shook his head and helped Leon up. "I'm sorry Leon, I forgot. They're roots must be intoxicating."  
"No, you're the stupid one!" Leon slurred, at least he was out of his fit of silent laughter.  
"Maybe he should sleep it off," Sam suggested.  
"Good idea."  
The two dragged Leon to the tent while he rambled about different ways to say 'cheese'.  
". . . and in France they call cheese fromage. . ."  
"That's nice." Sora gave a yawn once they had set the cheese "connoisseur" down. "Maybe we should get to sleep too. I have an extra tent you can sleep in, I'll stay out here. Unless you want to sleep in the same tent as cheddar head over there and have nightmares about aged swiss and brie."  
"I'll take that tent."  
  
And the jungle rumbles. . .  
~~~~~  
  
"Zzzz. . ."  
*suddenly wakes up*  
"That was a nice nap." *yawn*  
// Well you're going to have a "nap" every 48 to 72 hours. Have fun.//  
*her famous confused look*  
"Ooooookay. I'll get going now." *walks off humming the theme to Legally Blonde*  
  
About twenty meters away. . .  
~~~~~  
  
Sam was sleeping peacefully in the extra tent while Sora slept by the fire. Everything was quiet and peaceful until -  
"Ninety-nine cups of *hic* quisoni juice on the wall, ninety-nine cups of juice, you take one down, *hic* pass it around, ninety-nine cups of juice on the wall. Ninety-eight *hic* cups. . .  
Leon sat behind a tree singing like a dying cat. He drained the last of the quisoni juice from his cup and got up to look for more. A blurry figure walked up to him and wrapped its arms around his middle.  
"Oh, I've missed you so much!"  
"Me too Sam, but it's *hic* only been *hic* an hour since we talked."  
"Sam? Oh well, I love you Leon!"  
"Yeah, I guess I like you a lot too," he bent down and kissed the raven haired blur on what he thought was her cheek. (A/N: It was just the stranger's lips. . . perverts. . .)  
"Oh, Leon!" the figure attacked Leon's lips and stopped only because she couldn't breathe. Leon took her hand and led her to his tent, where they had a little fun. . .  
  
~~~~~  
  
A/N: Yes, yes, I know. If you've figured it out, that person Leon kissed is not Sam. You're welcome to flame me as much as you want (especially the person/friends of who the character is based on), but it will all turn out okay, I promise. And if you have any comments or suggestions, those would be highly appreciated. Even if you don't, you should review me anyway to tell me what a great authoress I am - or how much you hate me. I am open to all! So, spare me my dignity and just review!!! I hope you enjoyed it, and remember, "Elmo knows where you live!" Thanks! ^_^ 


	7. Green Eggs and Lepers

Disclaimer: Okay, I'm really getting sick of this. I DO NOT own Kingdom Hearts, any of their characters, or settings. I do not own Pikachu, or any affiliated Pokemon characters. I also do not own Barbara Streisand or Bob the Builder (trust me, I would kill myself if I did). Okies? Okies. Just wanted to make sure you weren't going to sue me or anything, cause then Pikachu would go psycho on your ass(es).  
  
A/N: I'm sooooooooo sorry that I haven't updated for a while. I've had so much to do and life is hectic, so please forgive me. If you feel like sending me a vulgar review/e-mail/whatever cussing me out I totally understand. But as most of my readers are kind, I doubt that'll happen. But then again, when the "calm" readers read this chapter, they might stone me to death. So, in advance, I'm sorry about how Leon reacts to his little roundabout with certain people in his tent the other night. Forgive him, he's simply a video game character. *looks around scared, people holding large boulders are surrounding her about to attack because she called Leon "just" a video game character* Ummmm, I'm sorry? Anyway, I appreciate all the reviews from past/current readers, and I would love to get even more! On with the fic - enjoy!  
  
~~~~~  
  
The sun had risen just enough to cast a dewy light through the trees. The sound of birds could occasionally be heard and the stream trickled slowly nearby. Leon opened his heavy eyes and peered at the peaceful scene before him.  
"What a beautiful day," he mumbled sleepily. He slowly turned on his right side to go back to his peaceful slumber when he faced the person he least expected (who was thankfully sleeping). Yuffie.  
Both shocked and terrified, but too tired to actually do anything, Leon's mouth dropped - but only for a second for soon he had fainted.  
Yuffie stirred shortly after Leon had passed out in grief. She too gaped at the stunning day that had just begun.  
"Ahhhh," she yawned while stretching her arms above her head. She was lying beneath a quilt and to Leon's right. How did she get there exactly? Well Leon had a sudden urge to make out with her and he dragged Yuffie to his tent.  
This was all understandable to the ditzy ninja (a.k.a. novice), she figured the following: Who wouldn't want to make out with a beautiful, graceful, and intelligent ninja?  
*author starts to laugh wildly, but Yuffie doesn't seen to notice*  
She looked down at the fully dressed man who appeared to be sleeping.  
But why did he keep calling me Sam? she wondered. She soon shrugged it off and stood up to stretch her legs. Once Yuffie was fully stretched she pulled a small compact out of her pocket and examined herself in it. She ran her hands through her hair and occasionally tried to tame the bed pressed locks. She inspected her skin now making sure that it was still smooth and unblotched - and it was. But then she looked further down and caught sight of -  
"What in holy hell is that?!" she whispered in an air as if she was screaming, she didn't want to wake Squall.  
Yuffie was referring to a reddish mark on her neck that was slightly swollen. She ran her fingers over the irritated flesh and her eyes grew large with realization.  
"Oh no," she muttered. "I've got - LEPROSY!!!" Now in a fit of full blown terror, she fled the tent and scurried into the forest. But you're thinking, 'Wait, this is Yuffie we're talking about, right? So there has to be more to it.' Well my friends, you are unmistakingly correct.  
Because Yuffie can barely put two and two together, she obviously didn't realize that she did not have leprosy, but it was merely a hickey. I guess I could tell her, but it'll be more fun this way. . .  
Sam woke up just in time to see a woman flailing her arms run by her tent.  
"Strange. . . it must be the quisoni juice still talkin'," Quickly she stood up and stepped into the luminous sunshine and breathed in the exotic smell of the jungle.  
She loved it here. She didn't really understand where she was, but she didn't care. It was beautiful, an absolutely mesmerizing place where anything could happen, and she was happy.  
I'm in a place that's the exact opposite of home, no haggis, no Michael, no eerie swamps. . . Sam smiled to think that she was away from it all and here with her new friends, Sora and Leon. Speaking of which. . .  
Sam tip-toed by Sora and prepared herself to peek into Leon's tent when she heard a low pop followed by a shriek that came from the jungle. Unsure of what to think or do, she proceeded to sneak a glance at Leon who had woke from his dormant state.  
"Good morning," she chirped.  
  
Scrambled or otherwise. . .  
~~~~~  
  
"Okay, so I've had bad luck lately," stated Yuffie as she paced back and forth between two particularly tall trees. "First, I lose Leon, the love of my life. Then I get malaria and leprosy. Just when things can't get worse, they always do. . ."  
  
~ flashback ~  
  
I opened the refrigerator and took out a tray that I keep my eggs in. Then I filled a pan with water - enough for a dozen eggs. Setting it on the top left burner of the stove, I turned the heat up to high and waited for it to boil.  
When it started to bubble I slipped the eggs in and started to write a letter to Squally-poo:  
Oh my dearest Leon, I love you with all my heart. I cannot live another day without you. You are my sun, and without you I am likely to perish. . .  
  
~ end flashback ~  
  
"I didn't turn the heat off. Idiot!" Yuffie slapped her forehead and scrunched her eyes shut. "The eggs exploded!!!"  
Swiftly she dashed away, back towards her house.  
  
Maybe I was dreaming. . .  
~~~~~  
  
"Hi Sam," Leon sat up and Sam lowered herself next to him.  
"How'd you sleep? That quisoni juice got you reeeeally drunk."  
"Well, I guess I slept all right, but I had this horrible dream that I was making out with someone who looked like Yuffie. And then I dreamed that I woke up next to her. It's possibly the most horrifying thing that's ever happened to me - how about you?"  
"I dreamt about home. . ."  
  
*~ Sam's Dream ~*  
  
Agnes: Ay! Sam, go get the haggis, will ye? Sam: Yeah, sure mom (A/N: Note that Sam does not have a Scottish accent) *walks to the lake - it's filled with haggis* *brings a handful of haggis to her mother, but it turns into quisoni fruits* Agnes: *takes fruit and puts it into a pot of water* Leon: Hello Sam. Sam: Hello love *kisses Leon on the cheek* Leon: Morning Agnes. Agnes: Mornin' Leon *when she says this Leon turns into a cat and starts to sing*  
  
*~ End of Dream ~*  
  
Sam didn't tell Leon about the 'love' or kiss part, but otherwise was true to her word. And she still got a disturbed expression from the puzzled warrior.  
  
Leon: O____o "Oookay. That was, bizarre. To say the least. I really turned into cat?" Sam smiled and nodded her head. "And what the heck are haggis?"  
"A mixture of sheep heart, liver, and lungs with oatmeal." Leon: O.O "Wow, that's disgusting. You really must be tough." It was funny that Leon said that, Sam was 5'8" (as tall as him) which was pretty tall for a girl.  
"Oh, and you didn't think I was before?" Sam gave Leon a pensive grin.  
"No, that's not it at all. It's just that you look so delicate and pretty -"  
Pretty, he thinks I'm pretty! Sam couldn't help but beam at the comment.  
" - and I figured, well, that since you're so graceful that you'd be more about speed and cunning." Sam was smiling brightly at him. "What?"  
She liked the flattery, but it was actually very silly that she had challenged him. "Stop, it's not that big of a deal."  
"But it is, and I mean it." Although he had never said anything before, Leon felt he had a special connection with the elegant girl before him. There was something special about her, she was so different and new. She was sly, but funny. And absolutely stunning.  
  
He gazed into her eyes.  
  
Sam had always felt that she could talk to Leon, even though they met just one day ago. She could tell he was kind and meant well. She had never met anyone like him, he was adventurous and daring, but he was childish sometimes - in a cute way of course. He was handsome, but the scar that ran down his forehead to his nose made him look dangerous. She could tell he wasn't.  
  
She gazed back.  
  
Their breathing became slow and calm from the gaze they shared. And ever so slightly they leaned in. Closer, and closer, and closer. . .  
  
"HEY! Whatcha doin'?"  
Sam and Leon were inches apart but they broke away with a start when Sora greeted them.  
"What?! Who?! No one!!!" sputtered Leon, panicked.  
"We were just, uhhh, just - "  
"Talking!"  
"Yes! Talking! That's all we were doing - all." Both smiled nervously hoping that Sora was gullible enough to go along with it.  
Apparently he was.  
"Ummmmmmm, ooookay," he slipped away from Leon's tent suspicious of the two, but still walking away none the less.  
There was an awkward silence between Sam and Leon and for several minutes they simply stared at their hands.  
"So," Sam started, trying to achieve their comfortableness with each other once again. "Want some breakfast?"  
Leon looked up and nodded. "Sure."  
  
So alone. . .  
~~~~~  
  
"Hey, where'd everybody go?" *Kairi looks around the empty clearing*  
"I'm so alone - no one loves me!"  
// That's right //  
*pouts and marches back to the beach*  
  
Yummm. . .  
~~~~~  
  
Yuffie walks into her house to find egg yolk splattered on the ceiling, egg whites on the walls, and a mixture of both everywhere else.  
O.O "Oh crap."  
// You said it. that's gonna take a while to clean up *mumbles* Sam will have a lot off time to get to know Leon. . . //  
"What did you say?"  
// Nothing. ^___^ //  
  
Meanwhile. . .  
~~~~~  
  
Sam managed to make a decent breakfast with the selective resources available and now Leon was chowing down.  
"This is great! What do you call these?" he pointed down at a slightly burnt clump of, well, something.  
"Blood pudding." Once again Leon went quiet and his eyes widened. "I was just kidding," she said apologetically when she saw he was traumatized. "It's just hash browns, you know, potatoes. You've never had it before?"  
"No, something similar but it wasn't as good as this," Sam blushed.  
"Thank you."  
"Anytime."  
Once again they stared into each others' eyes, one captivating the other. They stayed silent for awhile simply transfixed when -  
"Oooo! Hash browns! Can I have some?" Sora picked the pan up and helped himself. Leon jumped at the sudden break of silence.  
"Uhhh, sure," Sam was still partially dazed but watched as Sora piled his plate with the minced potatoes and smothered half a bottle of ketchup on top.  
"You brought ketchup?" mused Leon.  
"Sure, why not? It's an essential condiment and non perishable - for a while at least."  
"Really? Because I would have preferred mustard, you can use it on sandwiches."  
Sam started to giggle because Leon looked so cute as he said this. Here was a grown man talking to a teenager about condiments and completely serious about it. Rather amusing, don't you think?  
Both Sora and Leon turned to the beaming beauty as she continued to snicker.  
"What?"  
"Oh, uh, nothing. . ." she paused for a second. "So, you guys never told me what you're doing in the forest."  
"Well, Sora has a girlfriend, Susie. And Susie has a duck named Bob. And that duck was stolen. So we're looking for it. It's pretty simple except for the fact that we have no idea who stole him.  
"That would be a key factor."  
"Yeah, it is. So we're going to walk aimlessly around the forest hoping to suddenly find him. It's not the greatest plan, but at least we're not rooted in one spot where Kairi and Yuffie can get us."  
"Speaking of which, are we actually gonna look for him, or just stand here?"  
"Yeah, you're right, we should go. You can come too Sam, if you want."  
"Of course! Sounds like fun, and well, I rather not be left in here alone," Secretly Sam knew that she wanted to come along just to be close to Leon.  
"Okay then, we'll pack up and head past the stream. Hopefully we'll find a place to set up camp before nightfall."  
The three started to take down the tents and put everything else away, eager to explore the unknown.  
  
Long time no see. . .  
~~~~~  
  
"You think they'll come?"  
"Of course they will, otherwise the author would have no story -"  
" - or plot."  
"She doesn't have a plot. So how could she not not have a plot?"  
"What?"  
"Never mind."  
"Good, cause we need to find something to do with this duck."  
"Like what? He's stuck to a friggin' table!!!"  
"Maybe he likes carrots."  
"What does THAT have to do with anything?!"  
"I don't know, but I feel like having a carrot."  
*Barbara: evil growl*  
"At least it won't be like this for long, I've got a surprise waiting for Leon and Sora. . .  
  
Missed a spot. . .  
~~~~~  
  
Yuffie had been cleaning for a very, VERY long time. And all during this time the narrator has been laughing so hard she couldn't breathe.  
// *Finally takes a breath but is still purple in the face* Need. . . some. . . help? //  
"That'd be great!"  
// Oh, it's too bad that I have to go. . . MUAHAHAHAHA!!! //  
*sighs and frowns*  
"Fine, I'll just keep scrubbing the floor by myself."  
// You do that *leaves* //  
*continues to scour the carpet*  
"Who'd of thought egg would be so hard to get out of a shag carpet?"  
  
A Clue. . .  
~~~~~  
  
Sora, Leon and Sam had been walking - or stumbling I should say - through the forest. The trees were taller, the grasses and vines thicker, and the fact that it was day, less apparent. In fact, the foliage was so thick that anyone would have sworn it was dusk.  
And as if eternal night wasn't scary enough in a foreign place, it was eerily quiet. There was not a sound of the exotic birds once heard, and they were too far in to still hear the trickle of the steam.  
"Leon," Sam whispered. "Where are we going?"  
"I'm not sure. We've never been here before."  
"Hey, why are you guys whispering?" (of all things) whispered Sora noisily.  
"I don't know, it's just so silent. It don't want to disturb the peace."  
"What's the big deal?" Sora asked, now talking regularly. "It's not like we're going to be in danger or something."  
Why does Sora even open his mouth? *author hangs head and shakes it disappointedly*  
There was a loud growl, and the floor of the jungle began to shake.  
"What's happening?!" cried Sam, holding on to Leon's arm. It was a moment of anxiety, but she couldn't help but notice that he had wrapped his other arm around her shoulder and held her a little closer.  
Sora was clasped onto one of the narrower trees and scanned the area for whatever might have made the noise or caused the tremors.  
He didn't have to look very long or very far to find himself face to face with the most grotesque thing you've ever seen. No, it wasn't Kairi. Something much worse. . .  
It was black, with three horns and two glistening yellow eyes that seemed to stare straight into Sora's soul. It opened its mouth to bare its decaying teeth and slowly stood up getting steadily taller. He had reached his final height, which was about as tall as the trees. Quickly he swung his arms about in an attempt to hit Sora.  
"Whoa!!"  
"Where the hell did that come from?!" Leon yelled as he pulled out his Gunblade and stood ready in position.  
"I don't know! It just appeared from he ground. . ."  
"Do you think it's a heartless?"  
"Don't know, but let's find out!"  
Sora drew his Keyblade and charged at the brute and attacked. He swung with all his weight and force trying desperately to destroy the monster. He hadn't noticed, but Leon had joined him and was attacking the right side of the monster.  
Assaulting the legs wasn't very effective, but both could tell that the monster was yielding.  
The intruder soon fell to his knees and the warriors attacked his torso with vigor.  
  
We're gonna make it, we'll be fine. . .  
  
God! Will this thing ever die? Sam -  
  
Leon looked to see if Sam was all right, but she wasn't there. "Sam - ?" he voiced, but it could not be heard over the loud clamor omitted from the monster.  
"Leon! Watch out!!!" He turned and saw a large, black arm coming at him at an alarming speed.  
Sam watched in silent terror as Leon fell lifelessly to the ground.  
  
No, this can't be happening, not Leon. . .  
  
She leapt from the Durian tree that she had been hiding in and stood firmly in front of the fiend.  
"Sam! What are you doing?! I can handle this myself, you might get hurt!" She ignored Sora's warning and walked unshakably closer to the writhing creature, intent on defeating it.  
She reached for the shurikens hidden in her sash and flung them mercilessly into its eyes. The black figure flinched and covered its injured orbs with its huge, deadly hands. He was already blinded by the ebony blood that seeped from his eyelids.  
"Run!" she screamed at Sora who was still assailing the blinded beast.  
"But Leon -" From the corner of his eye he saw Sam hoist Leon onto her shoulder.  
"Come on," They sped off into the western part of the jungle hoping to find safer grounds.  
  
Finally. . .  
~~~~~  
  
Yuffie had finally finished cleaning all traces of egg off of everything. Almost. She was having a little trouble with a picture of Leon she had blown up and hung above her chimney mantle.  
"Oh, come on, come OFF!"  
// I don't think you can talk it into coming off //  
"I'm not trying to convince it , I'm willing it to come off."  
// There probably isn't enough will in the world to take super glued eggs off a picture //  
O.O "Super glued?! You SUPER glued it?!?!?!"  
// Well, not me personally, but a good friend. . . //  
"You're lucky I can't see you, or else I'd have Pikachu and all his little friends eat you alive!!!"  
// *mock voice* NOOOOO!!! Not PIKACHU!!! //  
"Go to hell."  
// I'm torturing you, aren't I?//  
"That's not hell."  
// No, it's fun, but you're in hell ^_____^ //  
  
Meanwhile. . .  
~~~~~  
  
Sam sat next to Leon, gently stroking his hair and patting his forehead with a cool, damp washcloth. She watched him sleep, his chest rising slightly as he inhaled the humid air.  
They had set up a rough camp underneath the suffocating trees of the western jungle. It was so muggy in this area that bits of water collected on the leaves and would roll off causing a light, constant raining effect. Sora managed to find a way to attach a tarp to the surrounding trees to form a sort of roof from the warm droplets of rain. Sam had fared to build a fire at the edge of their campground with the tropical wood.  
Little light came through the large leaves of the tropical foliage. But it rained, little droplets of happiness that poured into the dark, bleak premises from the bright sky.  
"This is what Scotland is like," she whispered softly to Leon. "Well, without all the trees," She smiled and held the man's hand. His quiet expression seemed to switch to the slightest smile, but Sam figured she must have been imagining things.  
"How's he doing?" Sora ducked underneath a branch and walked underneath the tarp. Drops of rain tapped the roof, creating a slow, rhythmic beat.  
"He'll be fine, he just needs to sleep," she stood and approached Sora, who was soaked to the bone. "Did you find anything?"  
"No, not yet. I'll go later though." He had been out searching for some sort of clearing so they could get out of the "rain". And if he could find fresh water, that would be even better. "When will he wake up?"  
"Soon, I hope. He wasn't bruised too badly, just his side. It should heal soon."  
"Good, cause he's a little ornery. He'll keep pushing himself as if he wasn't hurt. He doesn't have much patience."  
"Don't worry, I have a special remedy that helps bruises heal. I have everything - except for bearberry."  
"Bearberry?"  
"I don't suppose that you have bearberry here, do you?"  
"I've never heard of it before. What does it look like?"  
"It has a small red berries. Pretty simple."  
Sora paused to think. "Ummmm, there are raisins."  
"Raisins? But those are dried grapes."  
"Grapes? Uh, sure. . ." Sora threw Sam a disordered look. "Raisins are red, and I have no idea what grapes are. I would run and get you some, but they grow in water. And, well, if I had found water we wouldn't be collecting the stuff that falls off of the trees in bowls.  
"But if I find water later, I'll bring some back to you."  
"Thanks." There was a long silence as the two stared into the trees, watching droplets of water trickle down. And then, there was a hushed moan.  
Sam turned around hurriedly and ran to Leon's side. He opened his eyes unreadily to see her waiting expectantly, but very concerned.  
"What happened?" he said groggily.  
"You were attacked by that thing and got knocked out. Your side is bruised but it shouldn't be that bad. Just - be careful," Leon eased himself into sitting position and took a look around.  
"Where are we?"  
"The western jungle."  
"Why is there a tarp tied to the trees?"  
"To keep the rain out."  
"It's raining?"  
Well not really, but - let me show you."  
She grasped his hand and pulled him up careful not to hurt him. Then, she led Leon to the edge of the tarp roof and guided his hand out into the warm rain.  
"It's not raining, it's just that it's so humid that it collects on the tree leaves and rolls off," Leon looked spellbound as he turned his hand in the tranquil shower. He looked back at Sam, she was looking at him. They became lost in each others' eyes and came closer, just enough to hold hands.  
  
~~~~~  
  
A/N: *squeals* I hope you like how, um, close Leon and Sam are becoming. Please review, it's always admired!!! And I swear I'll update next Monday because I can't over the holiday. You'll really like what happens in the next chapter *stifles giggle* Okay, thanks so much! 


	8. Cocoa!: An author's note

Okay, just a little holiday greeting from the Gumm ^_^ Just wanted to wish you all a good winter vacation, Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and a Joyful Kwanza!!! And you don't celebrate anything, at least sleep in late, stuff yourself with sugar, drink cocoa until you keel over, and read fanfics!!! Kay, I'll update on Monday! Have fun! Ja ne ^_^  
  
~ Susie/ The Pink Gummibear / Hey you! / That one person I know 


	9. Rain Drop Kisses

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, the characters, or ANYTHING - except for the poem I wrote (but Sam wrote it in the story, okies?)  
  
A/N: Just a little clarification because fanfiction isn't cooperating. The '*' means that they are doing an action, or the word is suppose to be in italics. Then ' // ' is for a thought. For the poem, I surrounded it with ' \'. Okay, that's done. I think that you will like this chappie (especially the real Sam!!!) And a slight dilemma. . . but all will pull through in the end!!! And no Kairi, Yuffie, or B&B in this chapter. It's devoted solely (or, mostly at least) to Sam and Leon. Okay, enjoy, and have a wonderful holiday! Hurray for cocoa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^  
  
~~~~~  
  
They stood wordlessly under the dryness of the tarp when there was a quiet cough.  
"Hhehum, hhehumm," They turned at the muffled "cough".  
Both realized that Sora was still there and quickly dropped their hands to their sides.  
"What's been up with you two lately? You've been acting sort of weird," Leon and Sam tensed, not sure of what to say.  
"Well, uh, we - did we ever find out what that monster was?" questioned Leon desperate to change the subject.  
"No, but I would have sworn that it had yellow feathers stuck to one of it's horns - they were just like Bob's. But the funny thing is that there was a red stamp on the back of it's leg. It read *Property of Barbara Streisand* - I have no idea who that is.  
"And you did really well out there Sam," Sora added quickly. She bowed her head shyly and blushed.  
"Thank you."  
"What did she do?"  
"She kicked that monster's a- "  
*cough from Sam*  
"Errrr, she managed to keep the monster away and saved you. You owe her your life," Sam was still concentrating on the ground, intent at not making eye contact with either of them.  
"Wow! Really? Thanks so much Sam," he leaned over and hugged her, She was surprised at this gesture.  
"No problem." she replied looking up at Leon. He really did look grateful.  
"Okay, well I'm going to dry off and then head back out. Wanna come Leon?"  
"No thanks, I'm still a little sore."  
"Okay then, who wants MARSHMALLOWS?!?!?!" The other two rolled their eyes but welcomed the large bag of extra puffy marshmallows that Sora held. "Plus, I have chocolate and graham crackers!"  
Great. Now all they needed were some cheesy camp songs. . .  
  
After they had stuffed themselves with s'mores (this was obviously not the most nutritious meal) Sora searched for an umbrella, he was sure he had packed one.  
"It's gotta be here somewhere," he said as he scoured through his backpack. "Ah! Here it is!" he pulled out a motley paneled umbrella, but it wasn't *really* an umbrella. . .  
"My umbrella hat!"  
Sam burst out laughing, Sora looked absolutely ridiculous with the projected umbrella on his head. Leon on the other had, simply stared at him, not sure what to say. Sora's response to all of this?:  
"Well at least I'll be dry - er," He gathered his small backpack and put a strap on his right shoulder. "Okay, I'm off. I'm not sure when I'll be back, but soon I hope. Bye!" he waved to his friends as he set out to brave the elements. It was just him, the rain, and his multicolored umbrella.  
Sam was still chuckling even after he left. "So, what are you gonna do now?"  
"Just rest, read a book. There isn't much I can do all beaten up."  
"Which book?"  
"The Idiot's Guide to Learning How to Ride a Bike."  
"Really? I love that book! Which part are you at?"  
"The part where you put your feet on the pedals.'  
"Oh! That's my favorite! The suspense! The adventure!"  
"The challenge!" Leon loved it when he joked around with Sam.  
She giggled and rummaged though the bag she had brought. "Okay, I'm gonna write for a while."  
"About?"  
"Nothing in particular," she pulled out a large velvet notebook. "Just poetry, short stories. That kind of stuff," Leon nodded and got lost in "Chapter 3, So You've Crashed" while Sam started to scribble frivolously in her notebook.  
  
It was raining now, drops of silver fell from the sky causing a pouring effect from the trees. The sound was no longer light and rhythmic, but loud and relentless. She had finished a poem, which she felt was relevant to how she felt about Leon, and tore the page out neatly. She scanned over her frilly handwriting checking for errors but decided it was find before reaching to put it in her backpack.  
Suddenly a gust of wind blew the poem from her hand and into the rain. She gasped and watched it fall to the ground and into a puddle of mud.  
"Oh great," she mumbled angrily as she marched out into the rain to get the poem. She reached down to pick up the stained piece of paper, when suddenly, a familiar hand collided with hers. It was Leon.  
They stood, not saying a word, just watching each other as salty tears from heaven dotted their skin. Deep brown eyes stared into mahogany, trying to see into the depths of one another's heart.  
  
\Say you love me,\  
  
They stepped forward, almost cautiously, almost afraid. Inching unshakably closer, as if some invisible force willed them together.  
They were inches apart, and Leon took Sam's hand into his and cupped her face with the other.  
  
\Take me into your arms and kiss my cheeks,\  
  
He slowly brought his lips towards hers and gave her a chaste kiss. He looked into her eyes and saw them well with tears. But she blinked the drops of happiness away and this time leaned in to give Leon a more passionate kiss.  
  
\Tell me I'm the only person you ever loved,  
Tell me that we'll be together forever,  
Tell me that you'll be there,  
Tell me that you need me,  
you want me,\  
  
She pressed her lips against his, slowly moving them back and forth. She ran her finger in circles on Leon's back and deepened the kiss.  
  
\ and hold me\  
  
Chills ran throughout Leon's body and he cradled Sam in a way that made her feel beloved.  
So they remained, not caring who saw or what they thought about it. They stood and shared rain-drop kisses sweeter than they could ever imagine. A soft passion that whispered in their ears, a longing that made them ever closer.  
And so they were.  
  
~~~~~  
  
It was still raining but it had let up a bit.  
They had been in the rain for quite a while, but now they sat by the fire slowly rocking back and forth. Sam sat in front of Leon who had wrapped his arms around her. They were silent, simply enjoying each other's presence.  
Sam could feel the wetness from Leon's hair upon her shoulder as he leaned a bit to kiss her cheek. She turned back and looked straight into intense eyes.  
"You know Sam, ever since you came there was something about you that I was attracted to. I don't know but - "  
"It's the ninja suit, isn't it?!" Sam joked.  
"What?!?!?! No! I like *you* Sam!"  
"Relax a little, you're gonna pop a vein. Besides, I feel the same way about you," she kissed him playfully.  
"You like my ninja suit?"  
Sam giggled. "No, *not* your ninja suit because a) I don't know how you can like someone for what they wear, and b) You're not wearing a ninja suit, nor do I think you even own one."  
  
Leon smiled inwardly. //She knows me so well,// he thought  
  
//He's so cute when he's, ummm, cute,// she thought.  
  
They both couldn't help but laugh.  
"What's so funny?" they both asked in unison.  
"Nothing," they replied back. Now they grinned intently at the fact that they kept saying everything together.  
Sora suddenly sped past the two and ran straight into the tent.  
"Huh - ?"  
"I have no clue."  
Just seconds later he bolted out and ran up to the startled couple.  
"Guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat?!?!?!?!?!" he asked jumping around in circles with his arms above his umbrella hat.  
"What?"  
"I found WATER!!! And a clearing!!! We can leave this place FINALLY and - " he glanced down and stopped jumping (yet his arms were still up) when he saw Sam cradled in Leon's arms.  
"Sora? What's wrong? Your mouth is open so wide that you could catch flies in it - even the gigantic ones that live in this jungle."  
He closed his mouth.  
"Sora, why are you staring at us?"  
He looked at the ground.  
"Sora, why do you look like you're not breathing?"  
He inhaled - his face changed from purple, to blue, to pink and back to his regular color.  
"Umm, Sora?"  
He looked up but avoided eye contact.  
"Is there something we should know? You were hysterical a minute ago."  
She was right, he was, so he pretended to be okay and said in a fake I'm-so-happy-my-head-is-going-to-explode voice:  
"Come on! Pack up! We need to get over there!"  
Sam sprung up and immediately started to put out the fire. Leon just barely managed to get up and rubbed his side.  
  
An Hour Later. . .  
~~~~~  
  
They reached a beautiful green patch of land that was completely clear other than the trees that surrounded it, and the small pond that glistened with fresh water.  
"Wow. It's amazing," Sam bent down to examine a large purple flower with long flowy petals. Leon approached the pond with caution and tasted the clear water that glittered in it invitingly.  
"I think this is okay to drink," he stated after swallowing.  
"It's so ravishing," Sam continued to examine the small, bright colored plants that speckled the ground. She looked up at the clear blue sky and enjoyed the warm sun on her face. "That's funny. . . Sora, do you know what that that is?" she pointed above the trees at something that looked like a corner of a gray box.  
"You know, I have no clue," Leon turned from filling the canteens to see what they were talking about. "Weird. . ."  
"We can check it out today, that is, if Leon feels better."  
"Oh! That reminds me! You said you would get some grapes for me?"  
"Yeah, I remember. Just give me a sec and I'll go in, I'm not sure how deep the pond is."  
"Grapes? What do you need them for?"  
"A special remedy - to heal your bruise. If you guys want to find Bob soon, I would recommend that you're both in good condition."  
  
Toy Story. . .  
~~~~~  
  
"Okay! I'm ready to go in!"  
Camp was set up and Sora was ready to go on an "expedition" for the legendary grapes. He was clad only in his swimming trunks - which had Toy Story Characters on it. If only Susie was here to see this/  
//Oh, I am. You often forget that Susie's the author//  
//Does that mean I'm talking in first person?//  
// Yes, it does. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to ogle my cutie. He's adorable in everything, even Toy Story swimming trunks - ESPECIALLY in swimming trunks ^___________^//  
Anyhow, he also had on goggles, a snorkel and (of course) flippers. He waddled over making muted slapping sounds on the grass. Warily, he dipped his feet into the water and put the snorkel in his mouth.  
"Obkab I'b goin tbo dibive ibn,"  
"What?"  
Sora shook his head and waved to his friends. "Buh bybe," he slipped into the cool, clear water and disappeared.  
"I think he said goodbye."  
  
Sora's really really great ultra cool underwater expedition!!!  
~~~~~  
  
*All said in a French accent* *Everything is swirling around and an eerie aqua blue*  
"I have started my journ-ie in ze deep, wild ocean. I tread carefully as I swim closer to my dest-i-nation. Il y a! La "bearberr-ie"! I vill swim towards ze berr-ies and bring zem back to Mademoiselle Sammi!"  
*kicks flippers determined to get the berries* *gets to the floor of the pond and starts to pull at the berries*  
"I. . . vill. . . GET IT!!!" *plants feet on the sand and pulls as hard as he can*  
"I. . . vill. . . CONQUER ZE BERR-IES!!!" *he pulls harder and -*  
"Viola! I 'ave ze berries!!! Now I will swim back to 'er! But, oh no! Zere is an octopus!!! I must leave before he gets me!" *swims away frantically - but his leg is caught by the intruder!*  
"Oh no! I am caught! I vill surely parish!" *kicks wildly and flails arms about*  
"Help me! Heeeelp me!!!"  
  
O_o "Uh, Sora?" *still splashing around in the shallow pond feverishly* "There's seaweed wrapped around your foot."  
*stops sloshing, looks up*  
"Oh, here's you bearberry," *hands Sam bearberries* *big smile*  
"Thanks Sora. Okay, I'm going to make the potion," Sam walked off into the tent and Sora smiled at Leon knowingly.  
"What?"  
"Why don't you tell me lover boy," Sora poked Leon in the shoulder when he said the last to words. He was still in the shallow pond and waist deep in water.  
"What are you - oh. You mean, Sam?  
"Yeah, are you two - "  
"I'm not sure. Well, maybe. Yeah, I guess so," he couldn't seem to make up his mind, but nodded at his last decision.  
"But you two have - "  
"Yeah."  
"Have you two - "  
"No."  
There was an awkward silence during which they studied their hands and various pieces of grass. Luckily, Sam had caught on when she didn't hear any talking an poked her head out of the tent.  
"Uh, Leon? I could use a little help with the antidote if you're up for it," He grunted a 'yes' and walked over to the tent.  
"Uh, guys?" Sora called to his friends as he tried to get out of the pond. "A little help?" *splash* He had fallen back in because of his flippers and now floated on his back. "Well, it's not that bad. It's not like there are deadly sea creatures living in a pond - I hope."  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Thanks for saving me - you didn't happen to hear any of that conversation, did you?"  
"No, I just got suspicious. Here, could you stir the witch hazel?" she motioned towards a small metal pot with leaves inside that bubbled along with the water. He sat down next to the fire and stirred the witch hazel with repose. "About earlier today," she stopped chopping the grapes and wiped off the reddish juice on a towel. "I like you a lot."  
"Me too."  
"But there's a small problem. See, I have to go home at some time or another. And, well, I don't want to leave you, but I'm obligated."  
"Why?"  
"My mom was sick when I left. If I had known what I was getting myself into, I would have never boarded that ship. But then I wouldn't have met you," she whispered softly. A steady stream of tears ran down her cheeks. "I have to find a way back, soon."  
"Don't cry," Leon wiped the tears off her cheeks gently. "We'll find a way to get you back."  
  
~~~~~  
  
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it was overall crappy, but please review!!! I'll update when the break is over, but in the mean time, feel free to e-mail me with suggestions or comments. Thanks!!! 


	10. Flippin' French Fries!

Disclaimer: Yes, I have become irritated with having to defend myself by saying that I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Square Soft or blah blah blah blah blah. So, because it's a special occasion, I'm gonna tell y'all to look at the previous chapters for your damn disclaimer. So sue me. Just you try. *glares at lawyers*  
  
A/N: Okay, I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so soooooooooooo sorry that I did not update sooner!!! I've had a ton of work to do and things have just been all over the place! I've had it written just no time to update. Forgive me? Please? *sticks bottom lip out and begs* PLEAAAAAAAAASE? *the readers nod, they understand* Okay, well since you can handle that I have a little more bad news - *readers look concerned* - this is the last chapter. *readers go into a rage and burn down the village* No! Not BASKIN ROBINS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! *author rips her hair out* *sigh* Well, I'm sorry, but I've run out of ideas, so this is the final chapter. Hopefully you like it, it's more random than my past chapters, and you might get a kick out of it. Okay, read and review please! It's always appreciated! ^_^  
  
~~~  
  
"How are you doing?"  
"Much better," Leon said, stretching his arms out. He then lifted the side of his shirt to show Sam the almost healed bruise.  
"I guess it worked then, huh?"  
"Yeah, I feel as good as new," he twisted side to side and bent back to demonstrate his newfound flexibility.  
"So you can come exploring with us today?" Sora emerged from his tent and stood next to Sam.  
"Sure," he shrugged and looked to Sora for what he wanted to do.  
"Well," he answered, "I say we just pack up and head in there. Any objections?" No one said anything so Sora led them back to the tents and they started to pack their backpacks.  
They were soon ready to go, and oddly, enough, dressed in the strangest outfits. Leon came out in a pea-green pair of corduroy bellbottoms and a tacky patterned shirt. The bright purple boxes on his man-blouse totally clashed with the brown loafers he was wearing - that just happened to be platforms. In short, he was an afro away from being a bad seventies movie. He looked from the corner of his eye and saw a small tree sluggishly moving towards him.  
"What the - ?"  
The tree somehow seemed to wobble to and fro, its red garland shimmering as it bounced. Yeah, it was Sora. He was decorated with brightly colored ornaments, and bits of tinsel hung on a few selected branches. But the best part was definitely the star that adorned the tip of the tree. It was covered in gold glitter and in the center a picture of the Keyblade was displayed.  
"Whatta think?" Sora asked, peering through the artificial branches.  
"It's, ummm, interesting," he said, staring at Sora who wobbled threateningly.  
Soon after, the graceful ninja appeared. Sam was out of her ebony ninja suit and now wore a red satin dress that fell just above her knees. Wisps of hair grazed her bare shoulders, but the rest was up in an elegant knot. She was quite breathtaking, and Leon definitely noticed. Or, at least I think he did.  
There he was, jaw dropped and eyes slightly glazed over.  
"You, look, ummm, wow," he just continued to stare at Sam who had blushed delicately.  
"Are you supposed to have boots on?" Sora questioned. Sam glanced down at her feet which donned her chunky black boots that were stained with mud and dust.  
"I didn't pack my heels," she answered innocently. "Besides, how are we supposed to go anywhere if I'm flouncing around like My Size Barbie? I wanna get something done." Leon was smiling broadly at her as she said this. "What?"  
"Nothing, you just look - beautiful," A light red had washed over Sam's cheeks again and Leon came to wrap his arms around her waist. She giggled uncontrollably and looked at him.  
"Yeah, you too. You look, uh - " There was an awkward pause. " - handsome."  
"Well I'm glad you think so because we're going DANCING!!!"  
  
Sora: O_O  
  
Sam: O_O  
  
A monkey hanging from a tree: O_o  
  
Leon: What's wrong? Don't you all like to disco?  
  
All (including monkey): NO!  
  
Leon: Good! To the discotheque! *drags them off*  
  
Sora: Damn lucky monkey, he got away -_-;;  
  
Sam: Meh. It can't be that bad  
  
*the jungle floor suddenly turns into a light-up disco floor* *a palm tree becomes a disco ball and lasers shoot out of coconuts*  
  
Leon *tears of happiness and little hearts in eyes*: Wow this is better than I imagined!  
  
*a techno song starts to blare*  
  
Leon: *falls on knees and breaks down crying* This is the BEST day of my LIFE!!!  
  
All: O_O;;  
  
Sora: Yeees, *whispers to Sam* back away slowly. . . *they're walking backwards from the hysterical scene before them* *they bump into something hard*  
  
Sam: Ow! *rubs shoulder* What the -?! *looks up and sees a gray wall that's just barely hidden by the vines and trees*  
  
Sora: It's - a wall?  
  
Sam: Wait! There's a door! *clears branches off of door*  
  
Sora: Should we go in?  
  
Sam: Let's see, we can either go through the mysterious door that's in the middle of the jungle that can easily lead us into a trap where we would die a gruesome death, ooooooooor, we can go back to Leon and his dancing wonderland.  
  
Sora: You're right, let's go in! And quick, before he notices. *turns doorknob and peers in* It's just reeeeeally dark.  
  
Sam: Wait, let me see *moves hand around inside* *finds a light switch and flips it*  
  
*both enter and let the door shut behind them. Meanwhile, Leon's still crying*  
  
Sam: Holy haggis!!! *looks around the large room that's lined with aisles and filled with party supplies* Are we in - ?  
  
Sora: Paper Warehouse.  
  
Both: O.O  
  
Sam: I never knew that they had Paper Warehouse in the middle of the jungles.  
  
Sora: They don't. This must be where Bob is. Look - *points towards a trail of yellow feathers*  
  
Sam: Then follow it! *Sam pushes Sora and he starts to walk towards it cautiously*  
  
Sora: *looks down each aisle he passes* Oh Bob, Bo~b, Bob?  
  
*quiet quacking noise*  
  
Sam: *right behind Sora* *whispers* Did you hear that? It sounds like a squeaky toy - someone else is here.  
  
Sora: I don't think so, we shouldn't - *a trap door opens under his feet* - worrrrrrrrrry! *struggling in weird pink substance he just fell into*  
  
Sam: Sora!  
  
Sora: Help me Sam! It's a pit of - COTTON CANDY!!!  
  
All: *gasp*  
  
Sora: *blink* Ummmm, since when has there been an 'all'?  
  
Narrator: Since - *Barney and the Teletubbies appear out of nowhere* O_O;; Uh oh, gotta go, bye - *takes off running*  
  
Sora and Sam: *horrible high pitched girlie scream - especially Sora*  
  
Sam: Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no! What do I do?!  
  
Sora: Get me outta here!!! Quick! Take my hand before they get close enough to hypnotize us with their Tele-tummies! *reaches for Sam*  
  
Sam: *reaches for Sora, closer, closer, closer - *  
  
Sora: Sam, look out!  
  
Sam: *turns around and sees Barney about to knock her out the the "Imagination Bag"* Ahhhhh! *rolls away - her shurikens fall out of her sash*  
  
Sora: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  
  
Sam: *looks over and sees the Teletubbies about to pour Tubby custard into the hatch. Sam reaches for her shurikens but they're too far away to attain* Sora! Hold on! *Barney comes after her again* *Thinks: Sora, I've gotta help Sora. But I'm being attacked by an obese purple thing! What do I do?!?!*  
  
Suddenly -  
  
*the door is thrown open and blaring music is heard. Leon waltzes in doing the hussel*  
  
Leon: Do the hussel! Do do do do do do do do *clap* do do, do do do do do *clap* do do do do *shuffle, turn, clap* Don't worry Sam, I'll *clap* save *shimmy* you! *shuffle, turn, clap*  
  
Sam: Hurry!!!  
  
Leon: *hits Teletubbies with Gunblade - they explode splattering brightly colored blood everywhere* *reaches for Sora and pulls him out* *throws holy water on Barney - he starts to melt and eventually bursts into flames*  
  
Sam: My hero! *jumps into Leon's arms and kisses him on the cheek*  
  
Leon: *shrugs* It was nothin'  
  
Sora: *brushing off cotton candy* Wow, that was close. Thanks Leon -  
  
Unknown evil booming voice: MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
All: What was that?! O.O  
  
UESBV: You think that you have really won? *large shadow appears on ground, slowly grows bigger. Suddenly a small girl comes out of the aisle. It's, it's - *  
  
All: DORA THE EXPLORER!!! *screaming like there's no tomorrow 'cause there might not be*  
  
Dora: There is no escape! Not with my trusty side kick - *a figure in a black full length hooded cloak appears* - KAIRI!!! *throws off cloak to reveal a hyper looking Kairi*  
  
All: *scream louder than before*  
  
Kairi: Hey Sora *pulls out a pair of scissors and a comb* wanna play? *big smile*  
  
Sora: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Leon: *starts to cry*  
  
Sam: Leeeon! Come on! Swing your Gunblade at her or something!  
  
Leon: *still crying*  
  
Sam: Then you do something Sora!  
  
Sora: I can't! My Keyblade is defenseless against cartoon characters and girls who wear mini skirts!  
  
Sam: *pause* Mini skirts? *blink*  
  
Sora: No time to explain. RUN! *both hoist Leon up (he's still sobbing, mind you) and drag him down an aisle* *they turn into an aisle full of wedding decorations and start to throw big plastic bells at Dora and Kairi*  
  
Dora: *is hit with bell*  
  
Kairi: *is hit with bell but is still smiling*  
  
Sora and Sam: O.O  
  
Leon: *crying*  
  
Sora: Holy paopu! They're unstoppable!  
  
*both keep running - they get into the party aisle*  
  
Sam: *throws confetti on Dora*  
  
Dora: *is defeted by it's happy bright-colored crinkleness* *falls to the ground*  
  
Sam: One down, one to go! *throws confetti on Kairi*  
  
Kairi: *blink* YAY!!! Confetti! Let's play with the confetti! *strolls towards them*  
  
Sora and Sam: AHHHHHHH!!! OoO;; *they speed away again but run into a dead end*  
  
Sam: Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no!!!  
  
Sora: What are we going to do?!?!  
  
Kairi: *walks into the aisle with bushes in one hand and glittery ribbons in the other*  
  
Sam: Leon!!! Snap OUT of it!!! You've got to save us!  
  
Leon: *looks up and faints*  
  
Sora and Sam: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
  
Kairi: *gets closer*  
  
Sam: *whispers* Leon, please, save us. . .  
  
Kairi: *inches nearer*  
  
Sora: *covers eyes*  
  
Sam: *holds a limp Leon and squeezes her eyes shut*  
  
Kairi: *said cutely - if that's possible* MUAHAHAHAHA!!! *raises hand above her head about to strike (brush their hair) with a brush*  
  
*rumble, rumble* *little pieces of rubble fall from the ceiling*  
  
Kairi: Huh? *looks up*  
  
Sam and Sora: *look up also*  
  
Leon: *still fainted*  
  
*the building starts to shake*  
  
Sam: What the - ?  
  
*a gigantic foot bursts through the ceiling*  
  
Sam: *scream*  
  
Sora: O.O  
  
Kairi: *skipping around completely oblivious to the thing that had just smashed into the building* Tra la la la laaaa. . .  
  
Unknown Thing-a-ma-bobber: *other foot smashes through*  
  
Sam and Sora: *ducks from falling pieces of cement*  
  
UT: *punches fists through* *rips ceiling open*  
  
Sora and Sam: O.O;;  
  
UT: *peaks head through* *looks around* Hey! Sora! Leon! It's me!  
  
Sora: O_o Riku?  
  
Riku in the unknown thing-a-ma-bobber: Yeah, I'm back from Scotland! And I got myself a really cool plaid skirt, too! *stands up so that Sora can see it though the window of the UT*  
  
Sora: Ummm, cool? O_O  
  
Sam: Hey! That's the guy who's ship I stole!  
  
Riku: Huh? Who's that? *points and robot points with him*  
  
Sora: No time for introductions! Just get rid of her!!!  
  
Kairi: Tra la la la la, la, tra la la l- *is hit with a big hyper ray from Riku's robot type thingy* *falls into a pile of shriveled remains*  
  
UT: *sweeps up the ashes and puts them into a little box* *ties a bow around it*  
  
Sora and Sam: *sigh of relife*  
  
Sora: Thanks Riku. Oh, ummm, this is Sam.  
  
Sam: Hello *shakes robot's hand* I stole your ship when you were in Scotland! *big smile*  
  
Riku: Ooooookay. . . nice to meet you. So, what are you guys doing in the middle of the jungle?  
  
Sora: It's a long story. But I'm looking for Bob, someone stole him.  
  
Riku: Susie's Bob?  
  
Sora: Yeah, so we have to find him.  
  
Riku: It just so happens Bob is with me *holds up Bob, there aren't any feathers underneath though. . .*  
  
Sora: Uhhhh, Riku? He doesn't have any feathers on his butt.  
  
Riku: Yeah, I found him glued to some table so I had to rip him off. Heh - sorry.  
  
Sora: No, that's fine, at least we got him back. Did you find who took him?  
  
Riku: No, I didn't. . .  
  
Somewhere not far from Paper Warehouse. . .  
~~~  
  
Barbara and Bob are smushed into the ground. There are long foot prints on top of them. Yep, Riku saved the day twice - bless that gigantic robot thingy *author's eyes tear*  
  
Bob: My head hurts *his head is smashed flat*  
  
Barbara: *face down in the ground* Shu ut! (A/N: she was saying "shut up")  
  
Back on Destiny Islands. . .  
~~~  
  
Riku had taken Sora, Sam and Leon back to th main island using his super rocket boosters. They had just unboarded when -  
"Sora! Bob! Leon! You're back!" Susie ran to Sora and embraced him. "Oh, I've missed you so much! You too Bob!" Bob quacked happily while Sora and Susie caught up with each other.  
"And then we were attacked by this big black thing that came out of nowhere! We tried to beat it, but then Sam came to the rescue. . ."  
  
"Leon," Sam whispered. "I have to go, but I don't want to. I can't leave you."  
"I can't let you leave Sam, but we have to part. You just said it yourself. I'll always love you," he placed a soft kiss on her lips and tried to comfort her.  
"Hey Sam! You ready to go?" Riku had agreed to fly Sam back to Scotland and was waiting for her to say good-bye. She looked up at Riku, a pained expression on her face. She turned back to Leon and tried to memorize everything about him. But she loved him. . .  
"Leon!"she whispered urgently. "I love you so much. Come with me!" she smiled through the bitter tears hopefully. "Please?"  
Leon stared at Sam, not sure of what to say except -  
"Of course I will," he wrapped his arms around her and they laughed blithely.  
"Come on Sam!" she boarded the UT with Leon following. "What's he doing on here?" They just smiled at the silver-haired boy who was wearing a green plaid skirt. He shrugged and started UT. They rocketed into the sky, slowly becoming smaller and smaller until they disappeared into the blue abyss.  
  
~~~  
  
To make a long story short, Susie, Sora and Bob were happy forever and ever. Bobs feathers even grew back. Barbara and the other Bob were never seen again, and Utada Hikira was safe. Riku then sought revenge on Jack Nickleson because he ate his cheesecake. Leon and Sam? They got married, lived in the mossy moors of Scotland, and had lots of little gunblade wielding ninja babies.  
  
~ Fin ~  
  
~~~  
  
A/N: Yes, that might have been the worst final chapter ever, but I'd appreciate reviews nonetheless. And if I get a lot of reviews, I'll write another fic! *no one reviews* Oh well, yeah, the ending was sort of bizarre, but I hope it was okay! I hope you enjoyed my little story and at least laughed a little. Thanks to all my reviewers and especially Mongoose Dog Kami (the person who the character Sam was based on) and Ketshup. I luv ya all! ^_^ 


End file.
